


Worth

by Pathybo



Category: Divergent (Movies), Divergent Series - Veronica Roth
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-29
Updated: 2017-10-06
Packaged: 2018-12-21 09:36:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 11
Words: 33,125
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11941344
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pathybo/pseuds/Pathybo
Summary: Being the underdog was her life in abnegation. She was never good enough, or beautiful, or strong.Being Dauntless will change her life.





	1. Chapter 1

The sizzling of your blood dropping onto the coals was all you could focus on during your choosing ceremony.

Was it the best decision for you? Have you gone crazy? You didn’t know what to think anymore. Standing in front of the bowls your mind reeled with so many impressions all around you but it was too late for regrets.

“Dauntless!” Marcus Eaton, the abnegation leader yelled trying to keep his face impassive.

Knowing you and your parents he looked at you, the despise clear for you to see in his eyes. The abnegation leader mustered you with the same look he had thrown his own daughter fifteen minutes before.

You grew up with Melanie Eaton, went to school with her and you two were as much of a friend, as an abnegation could be. You knew all about the abuse she had suffered along with her brother that defected two years’ prior than the both of you.

You´ve been raised as the perfect abnegation, always putting others first, always invisible as the grey of your clothes made you fade into the background. You were never the most beautiful girl in the room, in fact, no one ever looked at you, so over the time, you learned to just keep to yourself. Not even Mel could break the walls you had built around you.

Never talking about the choosing, you had no idea she wanted to go to Dauntless too, but one thing you knew for sure: that she wouldn’t stay in abnegation with that sorry excuse of a father.

Your parents were good people, your father was never abusive, but like Marcus, he used to drink a lot. He never laid hand on you, but it didn’t mean his harsh words never hurt you because they did.

Your mom was always the one trying to make amends between the two of you, doing her best to lighten the air when your dad was drunk. She was the peacekeeper.  
On the other hand, your brother has always been ashamed of you, always doing everything to not be seeing around you, just ignored your presence and you did the same.  
But your feelings were at this point almost nonexistent, your whole being numb to the insults that used to burn hot like a dagger twisting in your chest.  
You were screwed up from inside out and now you were about to start a new life in another faction.  
A stiff under dauntless.

The moment Marcus concluded his speech and the ceremony came to an end the Dauntless-born, as well as the dauntless wannabes, started to get up, running down the stairs you and Mel followed, intimidated by the black sea that swapped you away.  
It was hard for both of you to keep up with all the dauntless that were used to run around, before climbing up to the rail and catch the train, but in the end, you managed and now both of you were sitting in the train wagon catching your breaths being rattled by the rapid movements.

“I had no idea you were choosing Dauntless. What do you think will happen now?” Mel asked, brow furrowed in concern.

“Dunno, crazy things I think. Dauntless are suicidal and we will have to be as well.” You answered almost whispering, as you tried to not draw attention on the two of you. It was worse enough that you both came from abnegation, you didn’t need to paint a bigger target on your back.

Only a few minutes later a member came up, telling you to get ready to jump. You were scared out of your mind but staying back, failing, wasn’t an option.

So you jumped hand in hand with Mel. She was mirroring your movements and you thought that maybe would be nice to really call her your friend since you never really had one.

Back in school, all your so called friends turned out to be just using you until a boy showed up, capturing their attention. Every time you showed some interest in a guy, they were there ruining every chance you had by flirting shamelessly right in front of you.  
Not even mentioning the countless times some boy would come up while you were talking to one of the girls and the next moment you were pushed aside, forgotten as they only paid attention to one another.  
In the end, you just gave up.

But Mel was different. She had always been around, never pressuring you into opening up to her, like she did in fifth grade when she told you about Marcus. She was giving you time and space, two things you desperately needed.

Trying to lessen the impact of your body hitting the roof the both of you rolled around like fools, almost laughing out loud but the guy that was gathering all the initiates seemed to not be a fan of humor so you just kept quiet.

Pushing your way to the front, you raised your head only now getting a good view of him and you instantly knew you were doomed.  
He was the most handsome man you’ve ever seen. Dirty blonde hair, beautiful blue-grey eyes that glistened in the sunlight, two studs above his eyebrow with tattoos on each side of his neck and both his arms.  
And god… what arms! So well-sculpted, strong and muscly, exactly how you always imagined the man of your dreams to look like.  
You weren’t the only one drooling over him, a few Erudite girls were up front doing the same.  
And the way it seemed he was tremendously enjoying all the attention.

His expression was cocky what turned you on even more. He was unapproachable, making him instantly ten times more attractive to you. There was nothing more of a turn-off than a guy that fell into every girl’s bed.  
But just by looking at all those beautiful girls hitting on him you knew he would never even spare you a glance, so you decided to just look at the guy and leave the rest to your imagination.

“My name is Eric. I’m one of your leaders and if you want to get into Dauntless, this is the way in. If you don’t jump then you're not Dauntless.” He sounded bored and even though his voice drawled immensely, it still sent shivers down your spine. This Eric would be a lot of trouble…

A Dauntless-born was the first to step up and he hesitated at first, before throwing himself of the ledge. Seeing him jump, you knew it would be ok to go next. It was not they would kill their initiates on the first day.  
So, you pushed through the throngs of initiates that were still too scared, even after seeing with their own eyes that would not get harmed in any way.

You stopped in front of the edge, contemplating how to get onto the wall without flashing anyone. With a great effort, you finally figured it out and stood up.  
Throwing the gorgeous guy a shy glance, you saw him glaring at you, not pleased that it took you so long. Not wanting to anger him any further, you quickly jumped.  
And for just a second, you finally felt free, as the wind lashed against your body, no one there to judge you, no one to make you feel rejected or unwanted.  
But like everything good, the moment was over too soon and you hit something, that sent you bouncing up again. A net.

You barely lay there for a second, almost bursting into giggles before someone grabbed the net, pulling it to one side so you rolled over, to get out. Coming face to face with the man who was stationed at the net, you immediately recognized Tobias, Mel’s brother.  
When you smiled at him, he only raised one eyebrow and observed you, as if he didn’t know who you were. If you think about your life in abnegation, he probably really didn’t.

“Your name?” He asked you, his face stony after he had heaved you out of the net like you weighed nothing. What was it with these guys and muscles?  
When you didn’t answer him right away, because you still needed time to come up with a new one, Tobias only sighed. “You can change your name to something less abnegation.” He spoke lowly, looking at your clothes with a pointed glance.

“Trish.” you finally answered hesitantly, biting your lip.

“Second jumper, Trish,” Tobias yelled, turning to face the cheering crowd you hadn’t seen yet. He gave you a short, almost nonexistent nod before he resumed his position at the net.

It took all the initiates a while to jump and when you realized, Tobias hadn’t openly welcomed Mel too, you knew he must have had a good reason for acting this way.  
After everyone had jumped, this time no one stayed back, they divided the Dauntless-born from the transfers and Tobias, who now called himself Four, ordered the transfers to follow him.  
All of them, you included scrambled after him, trying to catch up with his fast pace.

Four took you on a tour and showed you the dorms, the Pit, which was basically the heart of dauntless, and lastly the Chasm. With one hand on the railing of the rusty bridge, he tells you that every year at least two initiated end up in the chasm. Some by accident, but some committed suicide. It was frowned upon in abnegation since it was the most selfish thing one could do. At least that´s what they had drilled into you.

After he left you all solemn, Four showed you where to get clothes, before he ended the tour at the dorms, leaving you all to change. Mel chose a bed next to you and you were content with that. Better she than anyone else.

When all the initiates were done changing and stowing their stuff away, you gathered and left the dorms in search for the mess hall.  
It took you the better of half an hour since you got lost multiple times but when you finally found it, the two of you sat and Mel tried to start a conversation. She seemed to do that a lot, talk. More than it was usual for an abnegation. But even though you’ve never been the most talkative one you answered her, monosyllabic as always, but you did.

You had already finished your meal, now picking on the leftovers when you saw Four approaching. Not wanting to be obvious, you kept your head down until he stopped right in front of you.

“Initiates, a word. Outside.” His voice was emotionless, as he gestured for the both of you to follow him out of the mess hall.

Standing up, you shared a look with Mel but followed him nonetheless. Neither of you were talking while Four led you through the doors into a dark hallway. You felt a little unease, especially since Tobias’ eyes flitted over the walls constantly as if searching for something.  
When you reached a deserted hallway after what felt like an eternity, he suddenly stopped before whirling around and pulling his sister into a tight embrace.

“What are you guys doing here?” Four murmured into Mel’s hair while looking at you over her head.

“We wanted to be Dauntless like you did,“ Mel answered, pulling away slightly before shrugging her shoulder, looking down at the floor. “You know I couldn’t stay there.”

“I know.” Four pressed a kiss to her hair. Moving away from his sister, he looked you up and down in an observing way. “And what about you, Trish? Why would you come here?”  
So he did remember you.

In fact, he remembered you as the shy girl that used to hide from everyone and avoid any kind of social interaction. You always helped your parents with feeding the factionless, like it was mandatory for all of them. And even though it was almost normal for an abnegation to not interact too much, he always knew something was bothering you.  
Four remembered one day waiting for you outside of school, to bring you home because walking alone through the factionless sector as a girl was dangerous.  
But instead of hurrying home, you had slowed your walk, wasting time so you didn’t have to go home. He just never understood why.

On other days, he had watched you walking home from a distance just to make sure you would be safe. Four knew some people were giving you a hard time and even though you always pretended to be okay, your self-inflicted isolation made him worry that one day you would do something stupid.

“I thought it was the right thing to do for me.” You answer shyly, not looking up to meet his eyes.

You heard him sigh as he came closer to you, placing a hand on your arm while raising your chin with his other.

“Trish, look at me.” Hesitantly you looked up and were met by one of his rare smiles. “You don’t need to hide anymore, here you can be yourself.”

His words hit you deep and you started to blink rapidly, your eyes full of tears ready to overflow. Maybe this really was what you needed. Maybe your life was about to change.  
And maybe you would finally be happy at Dauntless.

Four just pulled you into his arms when he saw the tears glistening in your eyes like a brother would. Not that you would know, your brother had always been an asshole.  
Like with his sister, Four soon pulled back after pressing a kiss to your hair. Rubbing the back of his neck, he seemingly contemplated what to say.

“You two stick together, rely on each other and I will try to help you as much as I can. But the other initiates cannot know or they will think that I’m favoring you, so keep this to yourself and the next four months will pass by fast.” His voice was authoritarian and he wore an expression you would soon know as his no-nonsense instructor glare.  
After making sure you really understood what he was telling you, Four left a last warning and a last smile.

The two of you stayed in the hallway for a moment but soon walked away too, in search of the dorms. After being here for only mere hours it took you long enough and almost everyone else was already in bed or preparing for it. You did the same and soon fell into a restless slumber.


	2. Worth 2

The next morning you were woken up by the clashing sound of metal against metal. Tobias was standing in the door, pipe in hand as he told you to meet him in the pit in less than five minutes.  
Scrambling to get your stuff together, you got up and hurriedly got dressed before you followed the other initiates out of the dorms.  
You and Mel almost ran to the Pit, like the other initiates, where Four and Eric were both waiting for you. While you were out of breath and already slightly sweaty, the two men seemed to have kept their cool.  
If you looked closer, paying attention to their body language you soon thought that the atmosphere between them was more than frosty.

Four started pacing in front of you, talking about the three stages of training. The first two months would be purely physical, while the other two would be mental. The transfers would be trained separately but ranked with the dauntless born. It would be hard to not fall back.  
Then Eric spoke up, his voice sending shivers over your whole body.

“The ranking also determines who gets cut. After every stage of training, the lowest ranking initiates will be leaving us. So do your best, if you don’t want to become factionless.” His voice was as harsh as his glare while he spoke, but you still didn’t miss the three Erudite giggling at him, despite his cruel words.

You followed behind Four, who led you to the training room and all the way one of the Erudite girls tried to engage Eric in a conversation, but mostly throwing herself at him. She was a blond girl named Becca and even though she was very attractive, with her toned body and beautiful face, her personality was making her ugly.  
She was one of those girls you had always despised. For them, friendship meant nothing if a guy was involved and you could see it right there again, this time with your new leader.

Becca was all laughs, while Eric looked as if he’d blow a gasket sometime soon because she clearly didn’t get the hint that he wanted nothing to do with her.

After stretching in the training room, Four ordered you to run five laps around the compound for warming up before you would practice on the punching bags.

After a strenuous morning, you were dismissed for a half an hour lunch break, which felt like 5 minutes and before you knew it, you were back to training. You had to endure countless hours training all kinds of muscles you didn’t even know you had, but after an eternity training was over, leaving you to shower, go to dinner and do whatever you wanted to afterward.

You showered in a hurry, despite the horrid condition the bathroom was in and after you’ve dressed again in fresh clothes that felt wonderful, you waited for Mel. Nobody seemed to pay attention to you sitting on your cot in the corner of the room, so you went over to observing them.

The three Erudite were giggling and loudly commenting on Eric and what they would like to do to him, while the two Candor boys talked rather quietly. One of them, you realized was extraordinarily handsome and caught your attention, so you tried to low-key observe him. You being the shy girl you have always been, it wasn’t a hard task.  
Lastly, a couple from Amity were just changing at the other end of the room, leaving a total of nine transfers including you and Mel.

When Mel was ready for dinner you tried to open up a little bit more and told her about the cute guy from Candor. She was silent for a minute, stunned that you had entrusted her with something but she soon gathered her wits and suggested the both of you could go to the Pit after dinner, what most initiates planned.

And you did just that. The two of you were standing in a corner of the Pit, inconspicuously sipping on a beer, which tasted awful, as you watched the dauntless around you. Mel was particularly excited about everything at Dauntless, which she expressed talkatively, while you just observed, as usual.

In another alcove, you spotted Becca, who was all over Eric. He didn’t seem particularly happy about it, his facial expression one of boredom but you saw him raise an eyebrow, after Becca whispered something into his ear, suggestively rubbing her body against his.  
Not wasting another minute, he grabbed her wrist, pulling her out of the pit and when you spotted her triumphant grin, you knew she got what she wanted, so you just continued turned around and listened to Mel, who seemed to have had enough beer for one evening.

After a few minutes, the two Candor guys were approaching the both of you with a smile on their faces. Mel just turned her head and winked at you. They soon introduced themselves as Jason, the cute guy, while the other one was called Bill and you fell into an easy conversation. But after a few minutes, you noticed Jason was focusing his attention solely on Mel, while Bill seemed to be busy with the drink in his hand.  
Resigned, you thought how typical this whole situation was. Your luck with friends obviously followed you all the way to Dauntless, so you just stayed quiet, staring at the drink in your hand. Not that anyone cared.  
You didn’t want to leave Mel on her own, so you stayed for a few more minutes while they animatedly talked, but when Jason bowed down and pressed his lips against Mel's, you just left without another word and went back to the dorms.  
Once again you were alone and depressed, but you were at dauntless. So you decided to do what you always did best, be by yourself and train. Train hard.

The next day, one hour before everybody else was woken up by Four, you were in the training room releasing all your pent-up anger on a punching bag. That's what you did every morning.  
You soon fell into a routine, getting up before anyone else, grabbing something light to eat at the mess hall before you went to the training room, where you continued to wear yourself out while everyone else was still sleeping.

Mel tried to talk to you over the course of the next weeks and even though you told her that everything was okay and that she didn’t need to worry about what happened with Jason, you couldn’t help but keeping your distance from her.  
She wasn’t really better than the friends you used to have and you just have had enough.

During your training in the early hours of the day and later the real one, you had to deal with Eric's shitty mood, that was seriously starting you piss you of. The only advantage of being invisible was, that even he thought that you weren’t worth being reprimanded. That or he simply ceased to know of your existence.  
While he often snarled at the amities, picked at the candors and was cruel towards Becca, even though everyone knew he slept with her, the young leader never said anything to you.  
If this was good or bad, you had no idea.

All the while, Four was observing you from afar. He watched the interaction between his sister and the candor boy with skepticism but didn’t interfere. He also asked himself why you were being distant from Mel, but he kept his mouth shut like he had learned in abnegation.  
Curiosity is utterly selfish.

The next time Four approached you, it was almost the end of the first stage. You were on your way to the dorms, like always the last in the training room when he suddenly came out of nowhere.

“You developed a lot, Trish. You got a lot stronger and won most of your fights. You're doing really good here.” He said, with a small smile.

“Thanks, Four.” You said, walking out of the room. Four stayed by your side, his arms crossed as he looked at you through his long lashes.

“You’re having a hard time adjusting, don't you?” He asked and you just sighed.

Tobias had always been someone trustworthy, but the word 'trust' was not really part of your vocabulary but you decided to get over yourself.

“I just thought things would be different here, you know?” Your voice was low and you bit your lip, scared to have already said too much.

“I know, Trish. I had the same problem, but let me tell you something. If you want to truly fit in, you have to try to see the things from another perspective and maybe change your attitude.” Four threw you a little smirk and you rolled your eyes, bumping your shoulder into his. But he soon turned solemn again. “I’m not trying to be rude, but you have to stop caring so much about the little things when it's the big ones that matter. If you always find the bad in everything, you will never be happy. Neither at dauntless nor at abnegation.  
You have a good heart, Trish, and you are one of the greatest persons I know. Don’t let petty things change the person you are.” With that he kissed your forehead and walked away, leaving you alone in the hallway, your mind working in overdrive.

His words stuck in your head.

Later that night you decided to live a little and go to a bar at the Pit. After trying to look at least a little presentable, you walked there, countless drunk members already crossing your way. Entering the lively bar, you just grabbed yourself a beer and sat down in a corner observing the people around you. You spotted Eric at the bar chatting with Tyler, another one of the Leaders when Becca approached him. She raised her eyebrow at you, eyeing you from head to toe. Leaning towards Eric, she whispered something in his ear while sniggering evil.  
Raising his head, Eric's gaze suddenly met yours, his face stony as he slowly shook his head.

Something about this gesture wounded you deeply and when you felt the familiar tightening of your throat, you just put your beer on the counter, elbowing your way through the dauntless around you.  
Finally, outside, you took a deep breath, closing your eyes. Everything Four said to you, plus Eric’s indifference hurt something deep inside you, something you thought was long gone.  
That night you cried yourself to sleep, like the true Dauntless you are.  
Sarcasm is a bliss.

The next morning you were pummeling the punching back once again before anyone else in this goddamn faction was awake. At least that’s what you thought.  
You stopped for a moment when you heard the sound of the heavy steel doors opening. But when you saw it was Eric coming in, you just resumed your practice, with a small shake of your head. Invisible, remember?

You hit the punching bag over and over again, not even stopping when you felt him right behind you. His gaze left a burning tingle on your whole body, as he eyed you from head to toe.

“You’re strong. You will be a good soldier.” Eric spoke up after a few gruesome seconds, his voice igniting your loins, even though you were supposed to be mad at him. You didn’t like how he mocked you the night before.

“Thank you, Sir.” Was your breathless reply, while your fist met the leather again.

You didn’t turn to look at him once, but you felt his eyes on you every single second he stood there. It was as if you were burning up under his intense stare and you started to squirm.

Eric finally stepped away from you and you breathed in deeply, relieved as the cold air hit your sweaty back. But instead of leaving again, Eric walked over to the punching bag right next to you and started to train himself. You tried hard to not let the sight of his arm muscles overwhelm you, but you still caught yourself drooling over them.  
If he realized, he thankfully had the decency to stay quiet about it.

It was almost time for the rest of your class to arrive for the normal training, when Eric came over and suddenly placed his hands on your hips, switching you to the left a little. You froze, not knowing what to do, his husky voice sending shivers down your body.

“Here.” Eric put pressure on the part of your belly, where your abs would show. If you had any. “You have to keep the tension right here in your stomach.” His hands were still on your stomach, burning holes into your body when the door flung open with a bang and the rest of the initiates came streaming in. You could hear the giggles from Becca and her friends, but despite your tries to get away from him, Eric didn’t move, his hands were still on your stomach and you had no doubt, Becca saw all of it.

“Thanks, I better go to training.” Your voice was shaky, as you motioned towards the others but he still kept you in place, your body almost pressed against his. After what felt like an eternity, Eric slowly pulled his hands back and let you go.

You scurried away from him, to join the others as you saw Becca scowling at you from the corner of your eye.  
Right then you knew she was going to give you hell.

The rest of the week went by fast as you tried to stay under Becca’s radar all time. What happened with Eric in training room that morning seemed to be nothing but a dream. He didn’t talk to you, instead, he was actually ignoring you.  
So obviously, it was back to being invisible.

A week later, the mental stage of training started and you had tried to follow Four's advice about being good. That's why you were back talking to Mel, monosyllabic, but still.  
Any kind of human contact was good at this point.

Mel was actually dating Jason and surprisingly, you were ok with that. Being used to the whole situation, it didn’t bother you that much anymore. Not that anyone cared.

You had been high up in rankings, after managing to win almost all your fights during stage one. It had been a good way to release all your anger and you strangely liked punching people, something that in abnegation would have made you a pariah.  
What was also strange was that Eric and Four never put you up to fight against Becca. They probably knew you would have destroyed her in a blink of an eye. Her blond bad hair, that skinny body and that mouth that constantly seemed to spew bullshit was literally driving you insane.  
Since day one Becca had picked on you and your desire to punch her was almost overwhelming. The fight would have ended in a bloodbath.

So here you were, an abnegation transfer that ranked high in the first stage, which was a miracle in itself, now going through her fear landscape.

Thanks to your obvious absence of luck you didn’t even had a real fear. There was nothing major like dying or shooting someone.  
In your eyes, they were just silly: being afraid of spiders, small spaces, injections, losing the ones you love, (not that it was many, only your mom), being the center of attention and drowning. To your astonishment, you only had six fears, which left Four amazed as well.

“Are you ok? People tend to get very shaken up after this.” Four said, as you came back into reality, your heart still beating a little faster than normal. But other than that you were perfectly fine.

“I'm alright. After all, I’m used to dealing with these things, so it’s not a big deal.” Shrugging your shoulders, you looked up at your instructor. ”How did I do?”

“You were great!“ Four threw you a smile while tipping something into the machine.” You're the only person with six fears. That will boost your ranking immensely, not that you'd need it, you’re already second in your class.” He stated, raising his eyebrow at you.

His words let something bloom inside you. For the first time in your life, you actually succeeded at something. And it felt great.


	3. Worth 3

Later the same night you went down to the Pit to unwind a little. Looking around for familiar faces you spotted Becca who was already glaring daggers at you. Hoping that she wouldn’t come over, so you quickly looked away and to your relief you found Mel and Jason standing over at the bar. Trudging over, you thought they’d be good company for now and they indeed immediately welcomed you. Since the two lovebirds were enthralled in their own little world you started talking to Bill. He was a nice guy, nicer than most dauntless but he glanced over at one of Becca’s friends the whole time and when he started asking you questions about her, you knew he liked her. But even though it was obvious nothing would come out of this you found yourself enjoying his company, as he did yours. Which would be a first.

Letting your gaze stray over the pit while listening to Bill with half an ear you stopped short when you saw Eric talking to Four a little distance away. As if this wasn’t strange enough both of their heads suddenly turned your direction and your eyes were immediately drawn to gray ones, who seemed to drill holes into you.

Ducking your head, you turned away, a small blush on your cheeks and when you saw Becca scowling at you, you hurriedly pretended to be engrossed in whatever Bill was telling you about the armor of the new trucks, trying to not look at anyone.

But when Eric left and Four beckoned you over you were too curious to not go over so you excused yourself to Bill, who immediately turned around and continued the conversation with one of his friends who seemed a little more interested than you had been.

“Trish, there’s no easy way to tell you this so I will just cut to the chase.” Four said, running a hand over his face. The little signs of distraught that marred his otherwise so impassive face made your heart skip a beat and you looked up at him with desperate eyes.

“I got a call from abnegation, your father… of course, he knows you can’t leave here because of training, but he wanted you to know your mother passed away last night. I’m sorry.” His voice was compassionate as he looked down at you with worry but you couldn’t answer him.

Your world was falling apart. Your mother, your rock that had carried you through many storms, was no more and you felt the icy waves crashing in over your head. The water forcing its way into your lung, drowning you.

You were feeling lost and the urge to cry was getting closer and closer. The best thing to do was leave, find a quiet place to calm your mind. You were leaving the Pit when Becca arrogantly came towards you and you just prayed she didn’t say anything stupid because at that time you wouldn’t take it, not with all the feelings burning inside you.

“Hey bitch, are you ready to stop staring at Er…” she never had the chance to finish the insult. You just punched her in her pretty face and when she fell down you jumped on top of her and kept punching while your tears finally ran freely on your cheeks. You punched and punched until you felt arms around your waist pulling you off of her. You were thinking that Four was the one restraining you from killing the girl, but when you turned your tear stained face you saw Eric behind you.

“Four, take Becca to the infirmary, I’ll deal with Trish.” Eric barked.

He then signals for you to follow him, and between sobs you did. You were trying to be strong and not to cry, but at that point, it was very difficult to accomplish that. You were surprised when you found yourself in the training room, he told you to sit and you just did. The place looked bigger than it was or it was just you feeling like the smallest person in the world. Eric then went to the first aid cabinet and knelt in front of you. Not once did you look at him, you were staring at the floor the entire time. He got your hands and just then you noticed all the blood coming from your torn up knuckles. He then started to clean your hands up. His movements were calm and precise and kept your attention until he started to talk.

“I should punish you for that; for attacking her, but I know you’re going through a bad time, although you know we take Faction before Blood very seriously here.” He said while fixing your left hand.

“I’m here ain’t I? If I was Blood before faction I would be long gone by now.” You said with anger in your voice. They weren’t allowing you even to mourn your mother and your feelings were overwhelming you.

“You lost your temper very quickly. I’ve never seen you act like that. What did she say to make you lose it?” He questioned you. He seemed more curious about what could push your buttons so he could know a little more about you. You were clearly intriguing him.

“Nothing much. She just provoked me.” You said in a whisper.

He was working on your right hand and wrapping a bandage around it and kept staring at you to see if you would react. Your sobs had lessened up and were replaced by a profound sadness. Not even Eric being by your side, holding your hands was making you feel better.

Just then you noticed he was done with the wrapping and was only holding your hands. You felt a little uncomfortable and just pulled your hands back.

“I should go. Thanks for helping me.” You said getting up.

He stood up and said, “Don’t Fuck up again, initiate.” He said rolling his eyes at you.

You roamed around for a while just wanting to be alone. That feeling inside you was leaving you without air and it was getting hard to breathe. The pain in your heart was too much.

You went to the chasm and sat by a wall; the sound seemed to calm you and as your breath got steady you fell asleep there.

You woke up by someone shaking your shoulder lightly and you opened your eyes to see Mel by your side. She just held you and you cried on her shoulder.

She helped you get up and took you to the dorms. She stayed by your side until you fell asleep, all the time you were glad you opened yourself up enough to let a friend get in, even with all your trust issues.

The next day, there you were in the training room before going to the fear landscape. The training seemed to take your mind away from the pain and make you feel better. You worked on the punching bags until lunch break.

Time passed slowly and it was difficult after your mom died, but you tried to keep your mind focused on training and on the fear landscape. During the month you faced your fears every day, particularly the passing of your mom. You managed to get even more distant from everyone else. Your cocoon was safer and painless, but you still spent a little time with Mel. You witnessed Eric losing his interest in Becca more and more, she still was the same clingy girl that used to do anything to get his attention, but now he seemed fed up with her.

You just kept to yourself, alone and quiet. You even had a few episodes of cruelty when people tried to pick you up, you just beat them down to a pulp. The isolation was making you stronger and a better initiate.

People were commenting that you were a new kind of Eric, cruel, harsh, just the female version. You were feeling even more attracted to him, he was constantly ignoring you, but you were used to it, in your eyes he seemed hotter as days passed.

In the last day of initiation, you had to face your worst fears in front of all of Dauntless leaders.

You were doing very well until the last fear, that was more like a memory to you, appeared. In that, your mom was dying in front of you and there was nothing you could do to save her. She was being consumed by illness and Eric was beside you with a gun in his hand. You couldn’t stand to see your mom suffering anymore, you could not suffer anymore. You took the gun from Eric’s hands and shot your mom ending her misery, and yours.

When you were back from the fear landscape, Four was beside you, looking at you with pity in his eyes.

“How did I do?” You asked him.

“Really? You’re ok?” He was astonished by your calmness. He was looking at you with those beautiful brown eyes like he was trying to comfort you somehow.

“I’m fine Four. You don’t need to be concerned about me. Now tell me, how did I do?” You asked one more time.

“Very good, you did very well. I never saw an initiate so detached from emotions like you. But I have to ask you, why Eric? Why was he on your last fear?” He inquired.

“I don’t know. I think that he’s the hardest person I know, so I needed someone that wouldn’t be whining over the fact that I decided to shoot her.” You said not even sure about what had happened there.

“Ok, well the results will be up at dinner time after Max’s speech.” He said leading you to the exit.

You left the room and went to find Mel who was outside with Jason and Bill. You were the last initiate to go through the fear landscape so when you joined them all of you went to the Mess hall to have dinner and wait for your results. Becca and her still recovering face were there with her minions sitting a few tables over and you could hear her boasting to her friends about how she would succeed in rankings because of Eric’s help.

You thought to yourself that it was a little hard to believe, and decided to wait for your scores to be sure.

Max came up and made a speech about bravery and all of Dauntless cheered, yourself included.

“Congratulations, new members of Dauntless.” He said lighting up the score board.

You were shocked.

You were first in rankings followed by Bill, then Jason. Mel was five, and not to your surprise, Becca was fifteen. She was the last one in the rankings. You knew that her fighting skills wouldn’t take her far. Maybe the help she mentioned that Eric was giving her was simply not becoming factionless.

Mel hugged you and congratulated you along with Jason and Bill. You were celebrating, you even managed to give her a very shy smile. You never were much of a smiler, no reason for it, you were no horse on sale to be showing your teeth like that.

You were satisfied. The warm feeling in your chest showing you that you really succeeded, that you were good at something.

All the five leaders came to you to congratulate you.

“Congratulations, Trish, that was a very impressive initiation,” Max said. “Tomorrow we’ll meet to discuss your future here in your new faction. Welcome home, kid.” He said, shook your hand and left.

Eric just bowed his head towards you and followed Max. The other leaders did the same.

You stayed at The Pit with your friends celebrating for the night. You thought about your mom and you knew she would be happy with your accomplishments.

You were thrilled. You were first, the underdog, the screwup, the disappointment, you were finally finding your path, your home.

At the same time, the look on Becca’s face was priceless, but she knew you were well trained and she definitely knew you could fight, she still had a few scars on her face to prove that.

But besides staring at you, she didn’t bother you.

That night sleep came easy and rewarding at you.

The next day after breakfast you were going to choose your job and living arrangements. Being the first ranked you were the first Max called over the leader’s table. They had placed a chair in front of the five leaders so all of them could talk to you.

You sat down uncomfortable to be on display, all eyes on you.

“Trish, is a pleasure to have such a good soldier on our team,” Max said. “That being said we would like to offer you a training leader position. If you accept, you will be training with Tyler until you’re ready to take Harrison’s place, he’s retiring in two months. What do you think?”

You were astonished. Leader? You?

“Thank you so much sir, but I don’t know if I’m leader material, you know I’m not very good with people.” You answered uncomfortably.

“Don’t worry about that, you won’t have to interact with people too much, how do you think Eric joined us? We all know he’s definitely not a people person.” He said laughing at Eric who was sitting by his side.

“Can I beat people up?” The question left your mouth without thinking. “I’m sorry, I was not supposed to say that out loud.” You mumbled blaming your brain for such outburst.

Max laughed at your question.

“I think we should put Eric to train you for leadership, but I think you two would kill the whole compound.” He continued laughing and looking at Eric.

“What can I say, she was a good initiate, good on training and combat skills. So it was easy to train her.” Eric stated not moving a muscle on his ice cold face.

“Tomorrow at 8 am report yourself to Tyler and he will start your leader training program. Also here’s your code, you just got yourself a place on the leader’s hall.” Max said giving you a paper with your door code and the number 12C on it.

You got up and went back to the table you were sitting with Mel and Jason. You all talked a little waiting for your friends turns to be called. After all of them got their jobs and living arrangements, You excused yourself and went to the dorms to get your stuff and head to your place to explore your new apartment. You didn’t have much so it took you no time to head up to your new place.

It was a very nice apartment with one bedroom, a bathroom, a spacious living room, a very nice kitchen and a laundry room. You decided to stay in for the night and just enjoy the silence of your own place since the next day you had to start your leader training early in the morning.

For the first time in a long time, you were feeling good about yourself. You managed to accomplish very good initiation results due to your own effort and you fell to a blissful sleep.

The next day you woke up, took a wonderful private shower and got ready to go to breakfast. When you left your apartment, the door next to yours opened and you saw Becca leaving. She saw you and started to talk very loudly to get your attention.

“Hey Trish, you may have gotten the position, but I still got the leader.” She said laughing. At that moment the door that she just closed opened again as Eric went to check what was she yelling about. Great, he was your neighbor.

“I told you to just leave.” He said to her and his eyes met yours.

You lowered your head, that constricted feeling in your chest almost taking your breath away. You just kept walking, as much as you acted like you didn’t care, you still had a crush on him even knowing that he would never look at you that way, so you hurt a little. You could swear he was done with her by the way he was treating her, but maybe his needs spoke louder than his actions.

You went to breakfast a little sad, but that was part of your story, right?

You ate alone, not in the mood of engaging in conversation with anyone. You finished eating and went to the leader’s offices.

You reported yourself at Tyler’s office at the time Max told you to.

Tyler was a very handsome guy, with brown hair very short trimmed and a very short beard, just enough to seem it was at least five days without seeing a razor. His arms and chest were very well sculpted, like any guy in Dauntless. He was not very tall, he was a little shorter than Eric, but still taller than you. And he had very green eyes that seemed to read through your soul, and you were supposed to be attached to him at least for two months.

He started showing you all Dauntless books, the manifesto, the rules, and the leader’s positions and responsibilities. You spent all day reading with a quick break for lunch. At 6 pm he called the day and the two of you headed for dinner.

Both of you sat at the leader’s table along with the other leaders. You sat across from Eric and Max and Tyler sat by your side.

“How was your first day, Trish?” Max asked.

“Too much to learn, sir. A lot of reading, but it was good.” You said it sure, showing you knew how to chat with them.

“Who are you kidding, Trish? You were bored to death and there was no one there to be punched besides me.” Tyler joked.

“You keep pushing her buttons and she will punch you the next time.” Max joked back.

Eric was quiet, not saying a word Maybe he was still tired from his night with his bimbo, you thought to yourself.

You remained silent for the rest of dinner and quickly went back to your place.

You thought a lot and made up your mind. Your new, and only, focus was leadership. You would learn everything and become a great leader.

The rest of the week was tiring with Tyler showing you all the boring parts of Dauntless, but you needed to know everything you could in order to accomplish your goal.


	4. Worth 4

On Thursday of the second week of training, Tyler took you on your first ambassador training. You were going with him to Candor to solve a security problem reported by Jack Kang. Apparently the factionless were always one step ahead, every decision made in Candor’s leadership was immediately known by the factionless. So all security was compromised.

You two took the train there and were talking during the trip. He wanted to know everything about you. Without rambling around, he nervously started to ask you questions.  
“What do you like to do on your free time, Trish?” He started questioning.  
“I don’t have much free time, but on my day off I usually give the proper attention to my bed.” You said joking. The air was feeling stiff for you. You clearly didn’t like people getting to know things about you, it reminded you the time when the only reason why was to take advantage of you and hurt you, so you were a little uncomfortable.

“Oh, c’mon, a girl like you? Locking yourself in your apartment? Seriously?” He joked back, trying to find an opening to get to you.

“What do you mean by “a girl like me”? I’m not like most people you know, I’m not a people person, I do prefer the solitude of my own company, at least I know I can trust myself.” You frowned, closing yourself. You were having trouble to breathe and started to panic a little but your face remained stoic.

“You’re kidding me, right? You’re a good person, a beautiful girl, I know you’re a little violent and cruel sometimes, but that’s a part of being dauntless. Don’t tell me no one ever tried to break this barrier on you?” He stated, clearly intrigued by you.

“I don’t know who you think you’re talking about, but it’s not me. Listen, you’ve been training me for two weeks now, right? So I think I can tell you something about myself. I’m not beautiful, I’m not good. No one ever comes close to me unless they want something from me. That’s how my life has been, so cut the crap and just stay quiet.” You bluntly said trying to shut him off, your voice already an octave higher.

“Oh wow, you’re more damaged than I thought. Let me tell you something, missy, I’m your superior so listen to what I will tell you because nothing you’ll say will make me think otherwise. You ARE beautiful, you are good company, I enjoy spending time with you even if it’s training. So cut the crap yourself and talk to me. I am your friend and I don’t want nothing in return.” He said leaving you with your jaw dropped. “And let me tell you more if you don’t believe me I will prove it to you. You matter, Trish, you matter.”

You felt tears brimming in your eyes so you just stayed quiet until you reached Candor. Tyler remained side eyeing you the rest of the trip.

Arriving at the Candor conference room, Tyler introduced you as a training leader and showed you how to deal with the security problem like a leader does, with some kind of diplomacy.  
You couldn’t find the security breach at first, so you would be going to Candor weekly until you solve the problem.

On the way back to Dauntless, Tyler tried to break your barrier one more time and invited you to have a drink at a bar in the compound and you agreed with him to stop him from making the situation even more awkward.  
You got there and went straight to the bar. Tyler ordered shots for you and the two of you stayed up in a corner of the bar. After the third shot, he started to try to tell you jokes to lighten the air between you two and you were already a little tipsy.  
“Trish, do you know how many Amity do we need to change a light bulb?” He started.  
You just nodded no.  
“Five, one to change the lightbulb and four to spin the ladder.” He said laughing.  
You couldn’t control yourself, you never heard anything so terrible in your life so you just laughed, like you never did before, you, laughing.

“What the hell is going on here?” You heard Eric’s voice as he stood in front of you and Tyler.  
“I’m trying to make her loosen up a little bit, man, and it’s working, she’s laughing,” Tyler said and you just laughed harder.  
“How much have you had to drink?” Eric asked you.  
“A few shots.” You said between giggles. “Oh, c’mon Eric, drink with us.”  
Eric stayed but he said that he was joining you to keep an eye on you. At that point the alcohol was stopping you from reading him, so you couldn’t tell what he really wanted.  
“Oh please, if you’re going to stay to control us, go find your girlfriend and make yourself useful.” You said.  
“Shut up!” He said downing a shot.  
You and Tyler laughed at him.  
“So Trish, tell us, did you have any boyfriends in your old faction?” Tyler asked curiously.  
“What? No. I told you I’m not like everyone else, I don’t interact with people very well…” you said not wanting to keep the conversation.  
“Bull shit,” Eric said.  
“What?” You said back.  
“I think you’re hiding your game. You’re beautiful and a badass girl, you must have left at least two boyfriends behind,” Eric said.  
“I said that to her this afternoon. She is beautiful and a great person.” Tyler agreed.  
“Are you two insane? I told Tyler before and I will tell you now. You don’t know me, I’m not beautiful, I’m not kind, I’m not good enough. No one comes close unless they want something from me and guys never wanted anything from me. So leave me the hell alone.” You said motioning to leave. Despite being very tipsy, you were starting to feel that usual pain in your heart every time your friends used you to get to know guys, so you just wanted to leave.  
Eric stopped you grabbing your arm.  
“Don’t you ever say that again. You’re one of us now and this happened because you’re worth it. So deal with it. Drink up.” He said passing you a shot.

You were feeling something different, but you couldn’t tell what it was so you stayed a few shots longer. After an hour of shots and beer, you decided to go home before you would do something you would regret. Not that you shouldn’t or didn’t need to.  
Eric insisted on taking you home as he lived next door and you were clearly intoxicated.  
Tyler kissed you on the cheek and said good night telling Eric to take a good care of you. He was so wasted.  
The two of you walked through Dauntless hallways without saying a word, but Eric had his eyes on you the entire time. When you reached your door you couldn’t put the code right and started giggling. Eric helped you open the door and when you stumbled inside he held the door for you.  
“Are you ok? Can you go to bed or do you need help?” He asked.  
“Don’t flatter yourself Mr. Leader, just because you’re hot doesn’t mean that all the girls would surrender to your charm, I’m not everyone.” You said laughing a little.  
“Yeah, yeah, yeah, you already said that. Wait, you think I’m hot?” He said closing the gap between the two of you. His eyes roaming around your body and finally meeting yours, his mouth was slightly open as he admired you.  
“No. I don’t, I think you heard wrong.” You said embarrassed, trying to erase the words spoken.  
He then placed his right hand on your cheek and came closer. You felt the heat coming up your stomach in a feeling that you had never experienced before. He then lowered his head and captured your lips with his.  
The kiss was deep and hungry, he didn’t waste any time devouring your mouth and you mirrored his movements. Your tongue tasted his as he deepened the kiss exploring it.  
You pushed him a little, surprised with all that was happening. The room seemed to be spinning around and you couldn’t tell if it was your drunken state or the fact that Eric, your crush since day one, just kissed you.  
“You should go.” You said to him touching your own mouth but not looking at him, clearly embarrassed.  
He placed his finger under your chin lifting your face up so he could look at you.  
“This is wrong.” You said barely audible, afraid you would regret pushing him away, but your fear spoke louder.  
“You shouldn’t be so hard on yourself, Trish.” he said pecking your lips again before he left.

You tiptoed to your bed getting rid of your clothes in the process and just sank into the covers.  
You woke up the next morning asking yourself what the hell you did. Your head was pounding and you couldn’t remember coming home. You had glimpses of being at the bar with Tyler and Eric, but nothing more than that. You had no clue Eric had given you your first kiss.

You got ready and went to breakfast and found a very hungover Tyler.  
“Don’t say a word, I promise I’ll never drink again.” He said looking at you.  
You sat beside him and agreed with what he said.  
You heard a loud bang in front of you as Eric “dropped” his tray on the table.  
“How are my drunk buddies?” He said laughing, looking especially at you.  
“Shut up, just shut up, please.” You said in a low voice trying to make the unbearable nauseous feeling to go away.  
“You two can’t handle your liquor?” He mocked you.  
“I swear to God, Eric, as soon as I can put my head up I’ll kill you if you don’t shut up, just drop it,” you said. Eric just chuckled. “How did I get home? I remember being at the bar and the next thing I know I was waking up in my bed.” You asked confused.  
“Eric took you home, I couldn’t,” Tyler answered.  
“Did you put me in bed?” You asked looking at Eric.  
“You really don’t remember?” He asked and you just shook your head no. “You went to bed by yourself, I just dropped you off and left.” He said getting up and leaving, clearly upset with something, probably the fact that you completely forgot to kiss him the night before.  
You and Tyler finished your breakfast and slowly headed up to continue your training.  
During the rest of the week you kept your training with Tyler and Eric was managing to ignore you the whole time.  
You were used to Eric ignoring you as you were always invisible to him, so you were ok with that, but the pain in your heart every time he ignored you was trying to tell you different and you were not quite understanding it. You saw him with Becca once or twice and you just thought he was going back to bang her like he used to do.  
Tyler and you became real close. He was a good friend and you enjoyed talking to him. Every time he could he would compliment you and you were kind of fond of his way of getting closer.  
Occasionally you visit Mel just to chat and see how things were going with her. She was a Patrol officer and was very happy with her choice and with Jason.  
One Saturday Tyler invited you to go to a nightclub with him and he told you some other guys would be there, including Eric.  
So you went with him. He was very flirtatious, but c’mon, he was just being friendly, so you played along. Every chance he got he was touching you and grabbing your hand.  
You were at a table with Tyler when Eric approached you with other two guys. You stayed there having a few drinks and you were already feeling a little loose, so you asked the guys if anyone wanted to dance with you. Tyler was the first one to say yes followed by Eric.  
“You don’t dance Eric.” Tyler said trying to get rid of competition.  
“Who told you that?” He spat back, defying his opponent.  
“You’re clearly not Amity.” Tyler spat back, taking you by the hand to the dance floor.  
You and Tyler were dancing but Eric didn’t take his eyes from you. You noticed that he was staring but it never occurred you why.  
You swayed your hips to the song and Tyler was coming closer placing his hands on your waist. In seconds Eric was in front of you two and told you that Max just called a meeting very early in the morning, so you had better go home.  
You thought it was a strange timing, but you nodded yes and saw a very angry Tyler heading to the exit before you. You just followed with Eric right behind you.  
“You know that’s bull shit, man.” Tyler said when the three of you were outside the club.  
Eric grabbed his phone and showed both of you the message from Max.  
“Check your phones, you probably got the same one.” He said triumphantly.  
You checked your phone and indeed, you had the same text, so did Tyler. He was still a little mad and you couldn’t understand the reason, so you just kissed his cheek goodbye and headed home with Eric right beside you.  
When you got to your place you took him by surprise when you kissed his cheek as well and were about to enter your apartment when Eric grabbed your hand.  
“Are you ok? Do you need anything?” He asked you not letting your hand go.  
“I’m fine, just a little tipsy, so I better go to bed. Good night, Eric.” You answered uncomfortably with his hand holding yours.  
He then kissed your hand: “Good night, Trish, if you need anything I’m next door.”  
You closed your door questioning yourself about why Eric was kind with you, Eric was never kind.

The factionless were agitated and causing a lot of trouble so you were really called in a meeting at 7 am to increase the patrols in that area.  
Max was conducting the meeting with you, Tyler, Harrison, George, Eric and Donna, the only female leader before you joined them.  
“We are sending ten squads there, five are already there and I need you Tyler, Trish and Eric to be on the next one,” Max said.  
The three of you took a truck and along with other four trucks went to the battle area.  
The streets were full of soldiers and factionless arguing and even fighting. The situation seemed pretty bad and you were concerned about what could happen.  
Tyler told you to stay close to him, but he knew you were perfectly capable of doing your job.  
You two got separated from Eric on a corner, Eric went left with two more soldiers and you and Tyler went to an abandoned building to see if there was anyone inside.  
You went inside and searched for any signs of people. Nothing. When you were about to head out you heard an explosion and the building started to collapse. You and Tyler managed to exit it before it crashed on you but you tripped while running and fell hitting your head on a huge rock that fell from the building during the explosions. You passed out for a bit and when you woke up you were in Tyler’s arms who was screaming for back up while he rushed you to the truck.  
“Tyler, Ty.. calm down, I’m ok, put me down.” You said in his ear.  
He stopped and looked at you with worried eyes and put you down. The minute your feet touched the ground you felt an excruciating pain in your ankle and leg but stood up anyway.  
“Are you sure you’re fine?” He asked searching your face for a reaction. From the side of your eye, you saw Eric coming running towards you.  
“It’s just my foot, I think I twisted my ankle when I fell.” You stated. You were feeling a lot of pain but this was your first mission so you would never let them think for a second you couldn’t do your job.  
“What happen? Are you ok?” Eric yelled coming closer and grabbing your arms moving you towards him.  
“They set explosives off in that building. Two sets, heavy, C4 maybe, on the left quarter of the building and further down the same direction.” You said looking at him. “But we were able to get away from there.”  
“How did you see all that, I don’t even know where the explosion came from,” Tyler said.  
“I’m studying to become a leader, don’t you read the stuff you give to me? The explosives are in the fourth chapter of the manual and when I was about to tell you that I saw them there, everything exploded.” You answered him.  
Eric just smirked at you and Tyler seemed surprised that you knew all that. In fact, you knew a lot more you just didn’t want Tyler to feel embarrassed in front of the others because he missed the details he should be aware of.  
Suddenly shots echoed from a block’s distance.  
“Are you ok to walk?” Eric asked and you just nodded yes.  
“Ok, listen up.” He yelled and a group of soldiers surrounded him.  
“Two teams. Let’s end this shit. Go.” He ordered and everybody started to run toward the shots.  
Your ankle was killing you, the pain was unbearable but you kept running. You were not weak and you were not leaving your platoon behind.  
When you reached the shots area, a group of Dauntless was cornered while armed factionless were shooting against them. You split up from Eric and Tyler, each of you taking a different direction.  
You managed to flank a group of factionless from behind and didn’t even think, you just attacked. Eric was right behind you but you didn’t know that.  
He was shocked and proud to see you taking down at least five factionless by yourself, but when you were beating one of them up, the other managed to come from behind and attack you. Eric jumped on him and slit his throat without thinking. He was looking in your eyes while doing it and you had the other factionless on a choke hold, keeping your eyes on his you broke the guy’s neck and smiled at Eric. He gave you a satisfied smirk in return and came your way so you could get out of there. He took your hand and led you back to the trucks.  
The other troops defeated the factionless remaining and all of you headed back to Dauntless.  
Eric couldn’t mask the satisfaction grin on his face looking at you.  
“Are you two ok?” Tyler asked when you reached the truck. “Let me see your ankle.” He came toward you pulling your pants up a little bit so he could check. He made you sit against the truck to examine. Your ankle was almost like an elephant’s foot. All bruised and swollen.  
“You might have broken it. Aren’t you in pain? How could you walk and run with your ankle like that?” He asked you making you feel like a kid that broke mom’s favorite china.  
At that point, Eric’s face changed from pride to concern.  
“I’m Dauntless, pain is secondary.” You answered Tyler, almost bursting into tears when he touched your ankle.  
He saw the pain in your eyes so he carried you inside the truck and placed you on the back seat while he drove and Eric took the front seat. The drive back to Dauntless was not pleasant.  
“Why didn’t you say something? It could compromise all our strategy.” Eric said sounding almost mad.  
“But it didn’t, I did my job and we are going back home in one piece, so just chill.” You answered him.  
“Chill, CHILL? You could’ve got yourself killed Trish, you could’ve got hurt, more than you already are.” He harshly said. He was mad, extremely mad.  
“You were there.” You said in a low voice.  
He just turned back and looked at you. If looks could kill you would be dead now.  
The rest of the ride was silent.


	5. Worth 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mature Content

When you arrived at Dauntless, Tyler stepped down the truck and was coming your way to take you to the infirmary but Eric beat him. He took you in his arms to take you to the doctors.  
“Tyler, report back to Max, I will take her to the infirmary.” He stated already leaving.  
You didn’t argue. Possibly because you knew you couldn’t walk and that he was mad because you didn’t say anything. So you just rested your head on his shoulder and enjoyed the trip. Your heart was beating incredibly fast due to the contact of Eric’s body at yours, he holding you tight in his arms.  
He sighed heavily when you lay your head on his shoulder.  
“You could’ve got hurt, seriously hurt. I know you are this badass girl that is strong and fierce, but you can’t risk it.” He whispered in your ear.  
“I’m sorry, I just wanted to do my job right.” You whispered.  
Arriving at the infirmary, Eric placed you on a bed as the doctor requested so he could examine you.  
Eric didn’t leave your side while the doctors checked on you.  
“It’s just a sprained ankle. You’ll be fine. You can leave, I already gave you an Erudite pill to heal faster and I’m giving you pain killers in case you feel any discomfort. If you need anything else, you can call me anytime.” The doctor said leaving the room.

Eric helped you get up, making sure you could walk and slowly walked you to your apartment.  
All the way there you were feeling uncomfortable by his presence, he was this harsh cruel leader but he seemed genuine concerned about you and you were confused about it. Happy but confused.  
Arriving at your place he waited until you got the door open.  
“I’m going to report back to Max but I’ll come check on you later.” He said before he left.  
You collapsed on your couch, you were feeling happy to succeed in your first mission and with Eric carrying you to the infirmary, you could still smell his scent on your clothes so you fell asleep almost instantaneously.  
You were awakened by a loud knock on your door. You looked outside and it was already night, you stood up and opened the door only to be met by Max, behind him stood Tyler and Eric.  
“How is my bravest leader feeling?” He said motioning to enter.  
You allow them to enter and went back to your couch as you couldn’t stand properly yet.  
“Much better, Sir, it was just a sprained ankle, and its leader in training.” You said smiling.  
“After today you’re no longer in training, your bravery was enough proven to make you a leader. You’re one of us. Congratulations.” He said coming to you. You stood to wait for a handshake but Max hugged you.  
You felt welcome, you felt like you finally belonged there, you felt like finally you had a family to rely on, people that really cared about you because you have proven to be worth it, you proved your strength and they appreciated you for that.  
“Thank you so much, Sir, you have no idea how much it means to me.” You said with watery eyes.  
“Don’t get all soft, Trish, it doesn’t suit you.” Eric said .  
“Oh don’t bother Mr. grumpy here, Trish, how are you feeling?” Tyler intervened.  
“Take a sit, all of you, please, there’s beer in the fridge, I know I need to celebrate and I would love if you joined me.” You first said and Eric found his way to the fridge while Max and Tyler sat down. “I’m ok, Ty, I don’t feel pain, is just a tiny bit discomfort when I put my foot down, but I’m sure I will be good as new after a good night of sleep, if my neighbor doesn’t blast his stereo as he usually does when his girlfriend comes to see him.” You joked looking toward Eric that was giving beers to the other man and to you.  
“I didn’t know my music bothered you, dear neighbor.” He mocked you.  
“Well, it’s better the music than the alternative, you know, thin walls.” You said back making Max choke in his beer laughing.  
“So Trish, Eric told me you took care of at least five factionless on your own, with a bad ankle, I can imagine what you could have done if you were pain free.” Max stated.  
“I was doing my job, Sir, and it was not that hard.” You said sipping your beer.  
“Well, it’s a pleasure to have you on board. I have to go, but we’ll meet tomorrow morning at 9. Thanks for the beer.” He said getting up and going to the door.

The other two guys stayed and drank a little more. After they left, you took a shower and got ready for bed. The minute your head hit the pillow, you heard it. The blasting music coming from your neighbor’s apartment, he usually blasted his sound when his girlfriend was around to muffle the noise she used to make. You couldn’t take it anymore, you were tired, in a little pain and wanted to rest. You stood up and went fuming next door, didn’t even bothered that you were wearing only a sports bra and boys shorts.  
You knocked on the door and Eric wasn’t answering. You knocked again and again and again, until you were loudly banging on the door.  
“Wait up” Eric yelled from inside.  
He opened the door wearing nothing but a towel around his waist, all wet.  
“I was in the shower, is everything ok?” He asked.  
You couldn’t form words while your eyes wandered on his naked chest and arms, you were almost drooling.  
“The music, I asked you, is she here ?” You babbled.  
“Come on in, check for yourself.” He said motioning for you to go inside and you just did.  
He then approached the stereo and turned it down, and then he came towards you.  
Your hands betrayed your brain and started to move without your consent. They were touching Eric’s hairy chest as your mouth was opened, your fingers tracing the lines between his muscles. You could feel his muscles hardening on your touch and he flinched. Your fingers, that had its own will, were roaming on his chest when he grabbed your hand with his right one while is left lift your chin up so he could look you in the eyes. He then came closer and devoured your mouth in seconds. You placed both your hands on each side of his neck and deepened the kiss.  
And suddenly all hit you, you remembered the kiss, you remembered him kissing you at your place that night you got drunk. No wonder why he was so mad at you, how could you not remember?  
You held him close and he grabbed your waist and pulled you to him.  
He was deliciously awesome, his muscles were perfectly designed for your touch, he literally looked like a Greek God.  
“I still can’t believe you don’t remember.” He whispered in your ear while kissing your neck.  
You then sucked his earlobe seductively.  
“I do.” You whispered back.  
He pushed himself a little just enough to look you in the eye and smiled.  
He came to your mouth hungrily, kissing you deeply with his tongue fighting against yours while he grabbed your butt pulling your legs around his waist and just then you realized that the towel was gone.  
He leads you to his room and placed you on his bed taking your sports bra out, he then stayed on his knees admiring you. His mouth was slightly open as he admired you plump boobs.  
“You’re so perfect.” he said before he went for your breasts.  
He played your already hardened nipple with his tongue before his mouth sucked it. You moaned in return while he smiled against your nipple, clearly pleased with his accomplishments towards you. He alternated between breasts while you scratched his back with your nails. Your hand then reached the shaved side of his head and he went further down removing your shorts. He never asked you anything and you didn’t say anything to not ruin the moment.  
His fingers were trailing across your ribs causing you to squirm. He then started to trail kisses on your hip bone causing you to arch into him with a whimpered plea.  
He placed his head between your legs after trailing kisses at your belly and went for it, he sucked your already soaked folds while his hand played with your clit making circular moves. You were in another universe, you were moaning so loud that you understood why he used to turn his stereo on during receiving visits. He was a sex God.  
He sucked and nibbled you making you even more aroused by him. You had never felt anything like this before so you were almost having your first orgasm and when you were about to cum he went back up kissing you deeply that you could taste yourself on his tongue and without further notice he entered you so forcefully that you gasped.  
Just then he realized he was your first. You were so tight around him and he clearly felt when he broke your innocence. But he didn’t slow down. He kept his rhythm. You couldn’t think straight, you couldn’t focus on what were you feeling. Maybe it was the painkillers the doctor gave you but you didn’t feel pain, just intrusion.  
He was thrusting hard into you and you felt you were close as he left you ready for it with his mouth. You were moving your hips to accommodate his size better and that movement just made him cum harder and faster. When he was releasing himself inside you, you came, blissfully and passionately, you kissed him and he kissed you back while he panted. Your legs were shaking under him while you came back from your mind blowing orgasm.  
He lustfully looked at you trying to figure it out what were you thinking, his forearms were under your arms pulling you closer, with his fingers on your shoulders.  
“You should have told me.” He said panting.  
“Why? Would you’ve done anything differently ?” You said back, wondering if he regretted of taking your virginity. The old you would be sure he did and was about to ask you to leave.

“No, but now you’re doomed. You’re mine and mine only.” He said smirking at you.  
Just then he removed himself from inside you laying on his side of the bed and pulling you with him.  
He stayed there looking at you in the eye for a long time until your eyes failed you and you fell asleep. But not before you felt him kissing your eyelids and your forehead.  
You woke up the next day with the running water sound, you looked around and Eric wasn’t in bed. You tried to get up but all kinds of pain hit you, the soreness between your legs reminded you of the blissful night you had with Eric, your arms and legs too, but mostly were sore out of combat, but at the moment you put your foot down you felt the excruciating pain that traveled up your leg and you yelled. Is seconds Eric came of the bathroom.  
“What happened? Are you ok?” He asked coming your way.  
“My ankle, I can’t step with it.” You said trying to keep the tears from falling.  
You were scared because Erudite medications had healing properties that allow you to heal in less than a day and you were worse than the day before.  
“Sit down, let me get dressed and I’ll take you to the infirmary.” He stated.  
“Eric, I need to shower quickly first, can you help me ?” You pleaded, after a night like that you definitely needed a shower before anything.  
“Ok, I’ll help, but then I’ll take you to the infirmary.”  
You agreed, because it was no point in arguing in this.  
He took you to shower and helped you get under it, he made sure you could stand by yourself and then he let you shower and went to your place to get a few clothes as when you arrived at his place you were wearing boys shorts and a sports bra. After you finished the shower, he dressed you up and got dressed on a speed light and carried you down the infirmary.  
On the way there you bumped into someone that you had almost forgotten existed. Becca looked Eric up and down with you in his arms.  
“What’s going on here?” She asked.  
But he didn’t even slow down to answer. You wanted to ask him what was going to happen now, with her, but you were not that kind of girl. The way things were in your life he would probably be back with her in no time like he did when you forgot about the kiss.  
Noticing your quietness he knew you were thinking of something.  
“We don’t own her an explanation, she has nothing to do with our lives. Definitely not with mine anymore.” He said making you sigh and just kiss his neck tattoo.  
“You know you will get one of those, right? The leader’s tattoo?” He said smirking, as smiles were not his thing. You saw him smiling when he was drunk once and that day you were drunk and he kissed you, and when you said you remembered the kiss, other than that he only smirked and occasionally tried a small smile.  
“In the neck?” You asked.  
“Not necessarily, Donna has them on the back of her hands. I’m sure Max will let you choose a nice place.” He said brushing his lips on your forehead.  
Arriving at the infirmary Eric yelled hard on the doctor saying he didn’t fix you properly the day before.  
The doctor then took you to the x-ray room and told Eric to wait outside. Not that he obeyed.  
Eric called Max telling him that he was overseeing your diagnostic at the infirmary as they screwed up the day before and that he was not attending the 9 o'clock meeting, so wasn’t you. In less than 10 minutes Max and Tyler were at the infirmary.  
The doctor then told you that your ankle was broken and that the medication he gave you the day before didn’t work. But he was trying a new serum from Erudite that would make you heal.  
Tyler was worried about you, he was your good friend and he wanted to make sure you were ok, he then came to your bed to check on you.  
“How are you feeling? Is there anything I can do for you?” He said coming closer.  
“She doesn’t need help Tyler, I’m here if she needs anything, she has me from now on, so you can step back.” Eric harshly said to his friend.  
“Eric … how rude, Tyler is my friend, he just wants to help.” You said.  
“Is that what you think ?” He said looking at you.  
“Eric, Tyler can stay with me while you go do whatever you have to do. Maybe go talk to a certain person we just saw and later we can talk.” You said almost mad yourself. He was being so cruel at Tyler and you were not understanding why.  
Eric looked at you fuming the cruel Eric was back, he just took off leaving you with Tyler.  
He was so mad about seeing Tyler with you that he figured it would be better for him to just leave before he killed someone.  
“What was that all about ?” Tyler inquired.  
“I don’t know. We kind of got together but I don’t know what’s going to happen if he will stay or if he’ll go back to Becca, I’m so confused, I’ve never been through anything like this before, I don’t know what to do.” You confided to your friend.  
“You what? You and Eric? No, that can’t be true. You can’t be that stupid.” He said shocking you with his words.  
“Ty, what are you saying? Why are you calling me stupid?” You were trying to get up, you wanted to leave, to go to your apartment and just stay there, like you used to do when no one was around, when no one came close to you to hurt you.  
“I’m sorry Trish, that’s not what I meant, don’t run away, don’t hide from me. I just don’t think Eric is the right guy for you, or maybe Eric is the guy for you, you both are ruthless and cruel, but I know that underneath you’re a kind person and I care about you. I didn’t want to offend you.” He said.  
The doctor came back and put a cast on your foot, now you weren’t able to move for at least three days, and he told you to rest and not move around your apartment. Erudite’s medicine should be effective soon, so in three days he could remove your cast.  
Tyler carried you back home but he had to go back to work now that your training was over.  
He left you on the couch, grab a pillow and a blanket, made you comfortable, turned your tv on and when he was sure you were perfectly fine, he left.  
You fell asleep watching some old movie from before the war, and when you woke up it was dark. You opened your eyes noticing you were no longer on the couch, you didn’t remember coming to bed, your foot would make you remember. Then you noticed the bulking figure by your side, better, bulky back. You tried to move but your cast kept you in place, you managed to move your leg up on the other so you could caress Eric’s back and cuddle him a little.  
He shifted when you held him and moved around to face you.  
“Hey.” He said with a raspy sleepy voice. That voice that should not be allowed to be spoken to you because it was melting your loins just by hearing it.  
“Hey, when did you get here?” You whispered.  
“Right after dinner. You were sleeping, I tried to wake you to eat something I brought, but you didn’t move, I even checked for your pulse, then I took you to bed. I showered and joined you here.” He finished kissing your lips.  
“You checked for my pulse?” You laughed.  
“Of course, if you were dead I would just take off.” He laughed a little pulling you more against him.  
“I can’t go any further, this fucking cast keeps me away.” You pouted.  
He just moved closer to you making you comfortable in his arms and you both fell asleep again.  
You woke up before Eric the next day, you checked your clock and it was 7 am, you were trying to get up without waking Eric, no luck in that.  
“What are you doing? What time is it?” He said coming back from sleep.  
“I need to go to the bathroom, it’s 7 am.” You answered.  
He then got up and helped you, he also helped you shower rolling all your cast in plastic.  
Just two more days with the freaking cast.  
He then took you to the kitchen and placed you on a chair while he cooked breakfast.  
“I don’t own any explanations of my actions but I want you to know I talked to Becca yesterday and I told her to stay away from me and from you.” Eric said during breakfast.  
“You shouldn’t have, we don’t know where we are going on this, are we going to be a thing? Are we going to work things out? We don’t know.” You stated.  
In seconds he was in front of you making you stand up to face him. He grabbed your face forcefully.  
“You saved yourself for me, you’re mine, we will make it work. You’re all that I want since the day you beat her up. There’s no going back on us.” He said before storming out of the apartment.  
Eric was cruel and hard but no girl ever allowed him to be her first sex experience, usually, the girls who could, were afraid of him, the girls that come to his way were very experienced and already had slept with lots of guys, so for him, it was very unusual and different.  
You were really confused about Eric, he was hard, cruel and harsh even in relationships, if you could call possession a relationship. And he did make a little confession, he wanted you since the day you beat Becca up.  
You spent the whole day trying not to move around, you were bored as hell. You watched a few movies, but every time Eric’s words came back in your mind. You decided to just let it go and see what would happen on this so called relationship.


	6. Worth 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mature Content

On the next day, around 4 pm there was a knock on the door and Tyler came in to check on you. The two of you just stayed there talking and hanging out. He brought you something to eat and a juice as he was sure you didn’t have anything at home besides breakfast stuff. He didn’t know Eric was taking care of it.

Sitting at the couch you were eating and chatting with your feet up.

“How are things with you and Eric ?” Tyler asked.

“Ok, I think, you know Eric, it’s hard to tell what he’s feeling or thinking.” You confided.

It was weird for you to realize that your best friend, your confidant, was a guy and not a girl, but with your retrospect of female friends, it was more than obvious.

“Trish, I’m sorry for reacting like that, I didn’t mean to offend you, it’s just that I care a lot about you and I don’t want to see you get hurt. I’ve known Eric since our initiation three years ago, I never saw him compromise, I’ve seen him with a lot of girls and he usually stays with them until he gets bored. Again, you might be the right person to finally make him settle down but, it’s not quite likely,” your friend alerted you.

“I know Ty, that’s exactly what I’m afraid of, but what I am supposed to do? I like him, I really do and I want to give it a try,” you stated.

“Ok, it’s your decision and I will support you every step of the way.” When he stopped talking, the door opened and Eric heedlessly entered the room.

“I didn’t know you had company,”He said mockingly bending over to kiss you.

He sat down by your side to talk to you and Tyler a bit. After an hour just talking and hanging out, Tyler excused himself and left the two of you by yourselves.

The moment the door closed the lecture started.

“I’m not comfortable with coming home and finding Tyler here alone with you. And he brought you food? Doesn’t he know I’m taking care of you?” he said while kissing your neck.

“He’s my friend Eric, he’s your friend, I don’t see a problem in that,” you replied .

“You don’t realize it yet, did you? Tyler has had a crush on you since the day he started training you. He even told me he was trying to make a move on you then. But you’re not alone anymore, you’re mine now and I don’t want him trying to take you away from me,” he finally said.

“What? Tyler? Into me? No, that’s not possible, he’s my friend, I tell him stuff, he never did anything like that.” You were surprised about the things Eric was telling you.

“He was supposed to make a move on you that day at the bar, but he got too drunk. That’s what he told me. And then at the nightclub, he was about to when I got the text from Max, that’s why he got so mad.” Eric was clearly uncomfortable about Tyler’s proximity to you.

You just let the information sink into your mind and let it go for the moment.

The rest of the day passed fast with you hanging around the apartment not able to move properly. Eric brought a bag of clothes for himself, even with him living next door, he said it was easier this way.

That was the day you were supposed to take your cast off and the doctor told you to go to the infirmary in the middle of the afternoon to have it removed. Eric was at Erudite with Max and Tyler, and told you to wait for him to come back, but you couldn’t wait any longer, you wanted that thing gone, so you went by yourself. Trying to walk down the hallways you noticed the cameras following your every move. Out of the blue Four came your way.

Approaching you, he said “You’re not supposed to walk by yourself with a cast on your foot.”

“I’m not going to wait another minute to get this thing off,” you told him.

“If that’s what you want, ok then,” he stated coming to you and taking you on his arms bridal style so he could carry you there. And he did, people staring at him all the way down to the infirmary, it was kind of funny. Four left you there and went back to the control room.

After the doctor freed you from the cast you just wanted to run around the compound simply because you could, but you couldn’t risk having to go back in the cast so you went to the mess hall to have some dinner. After feeding yourself you just walked a little as you hadn’t been up much in the past few days, so you decided it was time for your leadership tattoo.

You entered the tattoo parlor and Tori was there.

“Hey sweetie, I heard you’re the new leader, congratulations!” she said.

“Thanks, Tori! Actually, I’m here to see where I can get my leader tattoo!” you said excitedly.

“Well, Max stopped by a few days ago and told me you can choose the place you want to do it as he did with Donna. He’s kind of soft with the ladies,” she said.

You told her the place you had in mind and she thought it was a good idea. It took less than fifteen minutes to put the patches of both tattoos and inject the ink.

You left the tattoo parlor very pleased with your choice and headed to your apartment excited to show it to Eric.

When you entered your apartment, Eric was already on the couch wearing just sweatpants with his hair still wet from the shower.

“Where the hell were you? Don’t you answer your phone anymore ?” he asked angrily.

“I didn’t hear it, I went down to the infirmary to get my cast removed, see, cast-free!” you said happily, showing him your free foot.

“I told you to wait for me.” He was angry.

“Oh c’mon Eric, you can’t be serious, I couldn’t stand that thing anymore,” you countered.

“You couldn’t wait for me so instead you took a ride on Four’s arms? Is that true?” He was starting to raise his voice and you were not liking it.

“Ok, listen, he saw me walking down the hallways on camera and he came to help, I didn’t ask him to do it, he was making sure I was not getting hurt,” you tried to explain.

“ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?” he yelled.

“Stop being dramatic, he just helped me get there, nothing more,” you spat back.

“Stay away from him, Trish, I’m warning you,” he advised.

“Stop freaking out Eric, nothing happened..” you weren’t even finished talking when you heard the loud crash of a glass being thrown against the wall.

“You haven’t even seen me freak out yet,” he said looming over you.

“Don’t be ridiculous, Eric,” you said kind of frightened, but not letting him notice.

“You’re such a whore,” he said with hatred in his eyes.

You were shocked, of all the insults that was the only thing he could have never accused you off.

“You, more than anyone, know that I’m nothing like a whore, but if you think that way, maybe I should go find Four and try to make it happen.” You were almost exploding in anger.

“Over my dead body,” he finally said storming out the door. The bang of the door was so loud and strong that the walls shook a bit.

You stayed there in shock, you just had your first fight with Eric about something that never happened. And he left without a shirt on. Luckily he lived next door.

After you cleaned the shards from the floor, you went to take a long shower to try to relax and not think about everything that happened before.

It was almost midnight when you decided to try to sleep, you still had to take the painkillers for two more days as per doctor’s orders and that helped you fall asleep.

You woke up by the bouncing on your mattress, you opened your eyes and Eric was lying down on the bed with his back facing you, at least he came back, it was already two in the morning, but you realized it would be worse if he didn’t come back. And you didn’t even have the chance to show him your tattoo.

When you woke up Eric was in the shower so you got up and started to make the bed before you got ready for the day. You were almost ready when Eric exited the bathroom, his face all bruised and his hands battered.

“Oh my God, what happened?” you ask motioning for him to come closer to check on him.

When your hands reached his face he held them, looking angrily at you.

“Don’t,” he said. “I had to make a few things clear with Four.”

“You beat him up? Because of me? Seriously?” You were the one mad now.

“He has to know better than to come close to you again,” he stated.

“You’re unbelievable,” you said hotly entering the bathroom. You closed the door with a lot of force to use the room and brush your teeth. When you left Eric was waiting for you.

“You better change that attitude, mister, that’s not ok, he’s my friend and he was helping me, that’s all,” you said bluntly.

“He had to know you’re taken, Trish, I don’t want him anywhere near you anymore,” he stated.

“You didn’t need to wait for me, I know my way to the cafeteria,” you said matter of factly.

“Let’s go have breakfast,” he said, taking your hand forcefully and leading you out of the apartment.

All the way to the mess hall he didn’t let your hand go once. You tried to free your hand from him, but he just grabbed it harder. You started to think that his next move was going to be peeing around Dauntless or all over you, like a dog sets perimeter of his territory.

When you entered the mess hall all the heads turned towards you like they always do when Eric comes in, and he just held your hand harder, almost hurting you. You looked mad, so no one dared to look directly at you.

You saw Four a few tables over, all covered in bruises as he avoided eye contact, but at the moment he looked at you all you could do was mouth a “sorry” to him and he just winked quickly before Eric noticed, not because of him, because he could take care of Eric, his beaten face said it all, but because of you, he didn’t want you to suffer Eric’s anger.

Eric led you to the leader’s table and sat down.

“What happened to you?” Max inquired of him.

“I had to show someone to not mess with my girl,” he answered.

“It seems that the other guy made a statement on you,” Max mocked him, pointing at his beaten face.

“Drop it, Max,” Eric warned in a deep voice.

The older man knew better than to provoke Eric, so he changed the subject.

“So Trish, ready for your first day as a Dauntless Leader? I just hope I don’t need to consult your new boyfriend on every decision I make involving you. I assume you’re the said girl he’s mentioning,” he said.

“I’m excited, Sir, and I will accept every order you give me. I really don’t know what to say about the other issue,” said, not going further into the subject.

“Tori told me you got your leader tattoo already. I’m very proud of you,” Max said.

Eric just looked at you with devilish eyes, anger setting in his face, it seemed his ears were releasing smoke.

“Did you give me the chance to show you, angry boy? No. I tried but you thought it would be better to go out punching my friend, so don’t give me that look, it’s your fault you didn’t see it yet,” you said, getting up ready to follow Max.

“Uh man, I never want to put myself between you two. Let’s go Trish, we have a lot of work to do,” Max said, taking you to the leader’s offices.

Max showed you your office and you settled for work, mainly just doing paperwork at first.

Later that day Eric texted you telling you to go home right after work. You didn’t want to make him angrier so you just agreed.

When you got home he was already there cooking dinner. You never thought you would see Eric cooking, but if this was his way to apologize you were ok with that.

You told him you were going to take a shower and would be right back.

You showered and put on the sports bra and boys shorts that he told you he loved seeing you in the other day and went back to the kitchen.

The table was already set and he was anchored on the counter and just stared at you when you entered.

“I want to see the tattoo,” he said bluntly.

“Do you think you deserve seeing it?” you played. This could be a dangerous game, you thought to yourself.

“I think you think I do, you’re wearing what I like you to,” he said mischievously.

You came much closer to him, your boobs scraping the surface of his t-shirt and you noticed him hardening as you approached. You placed your hand on his cheek, pecked his lips.

“Maybe today is your lucky day.”

When you turned around to leave you heard him gasp, your tattoo was on full display as it was located on both sides of your lower back, just on top of your back dimples ending right before where your butt started.

“I don’t care if dinner will get cold,” he said, grabbing your waist and taking you in his arms and leading you towards the bedroom. You found out that night that your back dimples had another purpose, it was where Eric placed his thumbs to anchor himself while he banged you from behind.


	7. Worth 7

Things were going fine and you were getting used to Eric’s possession over you, you were also adjusting to his rudeness and bad manners. 

You were together for five months now and Eric finally convinced you to move into his apartment, he was trying to convince you to move in since your second month as a couple, but you thought it was too soon, you were still thinking that, but Eric had particular ways to convince you to do what he wanted, usually pinning you under his naked body while having his way with you. And you never complained, sex with Eric was something else. You two used to fight a lot, mainly because of your friendship with Tyler and how close the two of you were but you never backed down from him and that’s what made him even more into you, no one ever stood up to him like you, no one never faced him the way you did and he was mesmerized by your courage towards him. 

The factionless were even worse since the last attack and all leadership knew it was a matter of days until they attacked again. 

The calls came early that morning and got all leaders in a meeting. Desperate, troops were called for backup while under attack in the factionless area. 

“Ok, guys, I want each leader to assemble a group of soldiers and meet me in the garage in ten minutes,” Max ordered and all of you went to the group of soldiers waiting at The Pit. 

“I want you on my team, I want to keep an eye on you,” Eric said in a low voice only for you to hear. 

“You heard Max, we will have a better chance if each one of us forms a group. Don’t worry, babe, I can take care of myself,” you said. 

“You’re so fucking stubborn,” he said. 

“Let’s make our groups. See you in a bit,” you said smiling at him. 

You managed to get Mel, Jason and Bill in your group along with two other soldiers and you all headed to the garage to get your vehicles. 

When you got there Max was ordering all the groups and giving specific instructions. You were heading to your truck with your group when Eric grabbed your arm. 

“Be careful there, call me if you need anything,” he said. 

You looked at those beautiful eyes full of concern and you couldn’t believe how a girl like you, the ugly duckling, the underestimated, the screw-up, the unlucky one, managed to get such an amazing man in your life, sometimes you even asked yourself if you were really worth it, if you really deserved him. You placed both your hands on the sides of his face and with a lump formed in your throat. 

“I love you,” you said and kissed him deeply. 

He returned the kiss, caught by surprise by what you just said. 

And you parted ways. 

When you got to the factionless area your group went to a side area where no one was around, you and Mel went right while Jason and Bill went left, the other two went straight forward. 

You and Mel were covering the perimeter when a group of factionless approached you, you were ambushed, you shot a few guys that were attacking you. 

“MEL, RUN!” you yelled while fighting them. “GET HELP!” you yelled to the running girl. It was the last thing you said before someone hit you from behind and all went black. 

Mel ran and ran until she couldn’t see any more factionless after her. She saw a group of Dauntless and ran towards them. It was Tyler’s group. 

“HELP, HELP!” she yelled. 

“Mel, what happened, where is your group?” Tyler asked. 

“Get Eric, now, they got her, she’s gone, they got Trish,” she told him. 

Tyler got Eric on the radio and told him what Mel said. In less than fifteen minutes two more groups arrived, Eric’s and Max’s. 

“Tell me exactly what happened,” Eric asked the frightened girl. 

“They ambushed us, we were covering the south area over there,” she pointed. “and when we realized we were surrounded by ten factionless, we fought, Trish managed to shoot three of them and she ordered me to come get help and I ran, when I looked back, they were carrying her away, she was passed out, they got her,” she said crying. 

“Why did you leave her behind?” he asked harshly. He was fuming and she wasn’t making it easier for him. 

“She ordered me to, she said it was our better chance or both of us would be taken by now.” 

“How about the two of you?” Eric was talking to Jason and Bill. “What kind of useless are you? You let her be taken, you’re worthless, I don’t even know how you passed initiation.” 

Jason understood that Eric was nervous and worried about you and just needed someone to blame, but Bill didn’t take it so well, he got enraged at the young leader but kept it to himself. 

 

You were awakened by a lot of water being thrown on your face, you opened your eyes and you were restrained from your wrists up to the ceiling. You were only wearing a torn up t-shirt and no pants. There was someone in front of you with a camera filming everything. And another person with a hose spraying water on you. 

“Well, well, well, look who’s up,” a third guy said and came towards you. You could recognize that voice anywhere. 

“When my moles in Dauntless told me I had the chance to kidnap a leader, I never thought it was going to be you,” he said. “Never you, loser, a screw-up your whole life, a disappointment to our family, I never thought you would become… something….” 

When he came closer your suspicious were confirm, you were in front of your brother Dan. And he continued talking. 

“You were always so horrible, such a loser with nothing good coming from you, mom died disappointed at you, because you left her and dad, you know, he just never cared about you. But I must say I’m surprised to see such a loser as a leader, it will be a lot of fun to break you.” 

“You’re factionless? What happened, why are you doing this? Let me go. DAN, LET ME GOOOOO,” you screamed. 

“Not just factionless, dear sister, the leader of the factionless. Now say hi to the camera, this footage will be sent to your fellow leaders in Dauntless, they will see what can happen to them if they keep killing my people,” he said punching you in the face and right after the hose guy sprayed more water at you. He beat you repeatedly until you passed out. 

He then got your phone and with the help of one of his skilled techs he got into your contacts and lucky for him, you had only a few numbers in there so he sent the video to all of them. 

The leaders and troops tried to find you for several hours and even with Eric’s reluctance they agreed on regrouping at Dauntless to discuss a new strategy to find you. They were all gathered in the leader’s meeting room, Max, Harrison, Tyler, Eric and Donna and Four was included in the search meeting when all their phones beeped at the same time. 

Eric was the first one to pull his phone up and press play. 

What he saw on the video made him go pale in seconds. There you were almost naked being beaten and verbally abused by factionless. 

“Oh my God,” Four said when he saw who was beating you. “That’s her brother, this factionless man is Trish’s brother.” 

“What kind of relative does that ?” Max inquired. 

“Her family was never a model in Abnegation, she was always left behind, I remember once at school her own brother was mocking her and yelling that she was a shame to the family. I had to take her home that day. He was always terrible to her, that’s one of the reasons she shut everyone out of her life. But here she was finally happy, she was improving,” Four said with sadness in his voice. 

All leaders were in shock of what they were seeing. Eric didn’t say a word. He was clenching his jaw hard and breathing heavily but didn’t say anything. 

During the next hours two more videos arrived and were worse than the one before, you were passed out in both of them and they thought you would be dead soon. 

“I won’t wait until she’s dead, I need to find her,” Eric finally spoke. “I’m going out there, who’s with me?” 

Max said that he was gathering the troops and all of them would be leaving in five minutes. 

Eric couldn’t understand what was going on with him, he just knew he had to find you fast. For the first time in his life he had someone that he really cared about, despite not showing or admitting it to you, he was himself when he was with you, you were the one to finally understand his hard personalitty, his rudeness, and you loved him anyway. He couldn’t lose you, you were the one he went home to at night, he was used to seeing you when he came home tired, sometimes even mad and you were the only one that could make him relax and feel better just by looking at him or touching him. And he loved your touch, he loved the way you caressed his temples when he was angry, the way your kiss always made everything feel better, and your body, how he adored every curve of you, how he adored watching you sleep naked after he fucked you to exhaustion. There were nights that he just lay in bed admiring you and your naked form. And he never told you that. He was losing his mind to the idea of a girl making him feel so vulnerable. This could have never happened to him, he was harsh, cruel and emotionless. 

They searched for you for three days without a break. On the second day Four returned to the compound to use a new search tool Erudite sent based on GPS location and he was trying to find the IP source on the videos so he could try to find their location, but all his tries were going outside the fence and he knew that was not possible. 

You smelled freshly baked bread and your mouth watered, you entered the kitchen of your old Abnegation home and there she was, your mom. You ran to her and held her in your arms so tight you were afraid you were breaking her. 

“Oh baby I miss you, have a seat, the bread is still hot, I just took it from the oven, let me fix it for you, with butter melting on top, just the way you like it and a nice cup of coffee,” she said fixing a plate for you. 

You sat down and sipped your coffee while she placed the still-warm bread with butter in front of you. You were feeling so happy to be with her. 

“Mom, how? What am I doing here, where are we?” you asked. 

“Oh my baby has so many questions, just enjoy the moment sweetie, I missed you, you know?” she said sitting next to you. “I can’t stay for long but I will be with you as long as you need me,” she continued. 

“Mom, take me with you, wherever you go I want to go with you,” you cried. 

“That’s not possible, sweetie, you’re not ready yet, it’s not your time yet. There are people that need you now, but when the time comes I’ll be back for you,” she said. 

You opened your eyes barely and you weren’t chained up anymore, you were on a bench lying down but you couldn’t move, you had no strength to do it and you felt pain in every inch of your body. You thought about Eric and tears ran down your cheeks, you missed him and you were worried about him, you thought about Tyler, Mel, Four and Max and you cried harder. 

You thought about your mom and what that dream was about and you felt defeated, you wanted to fight but you couldn’t. 

“Look who’s up, better awaken, I don’t think you can get up now,” Dan said coming your way. 

“Why are you doing this ?” You were barely audible. “I left you alone, I left Abnegation, you didn’t have to be ashamed of me anymore, why did you come after me? What did I do to you?” You were crying again. 

“You’re a pathetic creature, it’s not always about you, you know, I was always ashamed of you, do you want to know what you did to me? You were born, that’s what you did to me,” the broken delusional guy that you once used to call brother said. 

He then sat down beside you on the bench, pulled your head on his lap and asked the other guy to start filming. 

“Hello Dauntless leaders, I have a question for you, who the hell is Eric and what are you doing to my sister? She called for you many times so I must guess you’re kind of important to her,” he said to the camera. 

You were trying to move, to stop him from doing that, but he continued. 

“Do you want to say something, sis? Why are you trying to move when you’re all broken up ?” he said looking down at your head on his lap. He then pulled your hair up making your head go up. 

“Stop, stop doing this,” you babbled. “Don’t come for me, please don’t, Eric, stay away,” you pleaded and he released your head. 

“See, Eric, she doesn’t want you to come, but I do, come find us, Eric, and I’ll do to you what I did to her, I’ll break you too, I’m pretty sure you’re as shameful a creature as she is,” Dan mocked. Clearly, he didn’t know Eric. 

Watching the video Eric felt his heart turned into pieces, he was so angry that all he could see was red, he stormed out the meeting room going to the control room and almost breaking the door down. 

“Tell me you have something, Four. Did you see the last video? She doesn’t have much time. Tell me you have something so I can go kill the bastard,” he said angrily. 

“I might have, I finally got something from the last video, but let me go with you,” Four said. 

They called Tyler and without telling Max, they went for the hunt. 

With the coordinates Four got they surrounded the area until they arrived at an abandoned warehouse, just then Eric texted Max where they were and what they were about to do.


	8. Worth 8

In front of the building, Eric was the first one to kick the door open and enter. He saw you hanging by your wrists, passed out, and further ahead a few guys were bolting away from his disturbance. Immediately he recognized Dan and went after him. 

“TYLER, GET HER!” he yelled while in pursuit.

He ran until he cornered him in a small, dark room. The famous smirk appeared on his face while he approached Dan, the one who tried to destroy and kill you.

Eric was going to enjoy this. 

“So, little bro, it’s you and me now. You said you would do to me what you did to her, so here’s your chance, be my guest and give it a try,” Eric goaded, shooting Dan in the left knee without hesitation. 

Dan dropped and held the fresh wound, screaming in pain as blood leaked through his fingers. Eric waited, his smile only growing wider as Dan’s agonizing screams became heavy pants. 

Despite the pain, Eric was surprised to see Dan fight through it, tilting his head up defiantly. “I don’t know what you saw in her, man. She’s a failure. She always was and always will be. She’s nothing but a disappointment. It’s a real shame.”

“That’s where you’re mistaken, asshole,” Eric scoffed and shook his head. “She’s everything. She has more courage than you could wish for. She’s smart and kind, hard when she has to be. But most of all, she’s mine, and that’s more than enough for me,” Eric said firmly, shooting Dan’s right knee. 

Dan hit the ground, yelling through the pain, and Eric approached him from behind, pulling him up and placing a knife to Dan’s neck. 

“Any last words?” Eric hissed fractions from his ear, the same satisfied grin plastered on his face. 

“You’re crazy, man, just like her! You’re both lunatics…” Before he finished, Eric slit his throat with practiced precision, shoving his limp body to the side. 

Eric ran back to the room you were at and Tyler was kneeling on the floor with you on his lap. He could barely recognize you through the dirt and ripped pieces of underwear, only just breathing.

“Four is outside waiting for help. I don’t know if she will make it, man,” he said with wide eyes. 

Eric grabbed you in his arms, already moving towards the exit, and Tyler followed instinctively. 

“There’s no time. I’m taking her to Erudite hospital, it’s closer.”

When they reached outside, Max and the troops were arriving in force. Eric told him the factionless were inside and that Dan was dead fleetingly as he rushed you to the trucks, not daring to risk another second. He barely registered Four and Tyler joining him as they left for Erudite headquarters.

The doctors were taking care of you while the three men waited outside. Eric was a walking mess, he hadn’t slept well for the last few days. His beard had grown and he looked pale and drawn, far from his usually kempt appearance. Tyler didn’t look much different, but Four was faring a little better than them. He had been on surveillance work at the control room and he’d managed to get some sleep so he could focus on doing his job right.

The doctor finally came outside to give them some news on how you were, and Eric stood up haughtily to listen to him.

“We did all we could. She’s still very weak and it all depends on her now. We have already started on the healing serums but she needs to want to live to recover. All you can do now is wait. Go home, have some rest, we will call you as soon we have news,” the doctor said.

Tyler and Four went back to Dauntless to rest but Eric stayed by your side; holding your hands, touching your face, pecking your lips. He was desperate.

Two days after that you started to regain consciousness. You started to open your eyes and the pain in your head was terrible, but you continued anyway. You blinked a few times and managed to open your eyes, the light was bright and blinding. You saw Eric laying his head on your lap while sitting on a chair beside your bed. You moved your fingers to try to wake him up.

“Eric… Eric.. wake up,” you whispered.

Eric stirred, slowly looking at you.

“You’re awake! How are you feeling? I thought I lost you,” he said getting up and kissing your lips. “Try not to move, the healing serum is still working and the doctors are still monitoring its effectiveness due to the extents of your injuries.”

“Where am I? What happened?” you asked, confused. 

“We are at the Erudite hospital. What do you remember?” he said, a little concerned.

“I remember being attacked and I told Mel to get help. Oh my god, Mel, is she ok!?”

You tried to sit up but Eric held you down. “She’s fine. Don’t worry.”

“I remember the moment someone hit my head, and when I woke up Dan was there, my brother. And that’s it, I don’t remember what happened after,” you told him.

“We took care of him, you don’t need to worry about him anymore. They beat you pretty bad, but it’s over now. You just need to rest and heal,” he said. He moves closer to you. You could see that he was worried, his face was looking like Tyler’s, with a beard. You had never seen Eric like that before and he looked unusually tired.

“Have you gone home to rest? Look at you, unshaven, I think I can get used to that,” you said smiling.

“I couldn’t leave you here. I’m going home when you are. And don’t get used to the beard, I’m taking it off as soon as we get back.” He placed his hands on each side of your face and came really close, your foreheads touching.“You are everything that matters to me, you’re all I ever needed in my life. And I love you, too,” he said kissing you deeply.

“I love you so much,” you said sighing.“Is he dead ?” you asked Eric with a stern face. “Is my brother dead?”

“Yes. I killed him,” Eric answered firmly. 

“Good. I was going to kill him myself if you hadn’t.”

The next few days the doctors wanted to keep you in Erudite until you felt fully recovered, but you were not liking it.

“Eric, I want to go home, I don’t want to stay here,” you said.

“Babe, just two more days, please be patient,” he comforted.

“Eric, if you don’t take me home right now, I’m going by myself and you don’t need to bother following me,” you were deadly serious and he saw it in your eyes.

“Let me check with the doctor first,” Eric said leaving the room.

You were already up, searching for clothes when Eric and the doctor came back into the room.

“Trish, I heard you want to leave, I think you can continue treatment at Dauntless but I need to talk to you first. A few exams just came back from the labs and we need to discuss them before you leave,” the doctor said, gesturing for you to sit on the bed.

“Is there anything wrong, doctor?” you asked.

“Considering what you’ve gone through, your health is exceptional, our healing serum worked perfectly on you. Your torn up organs are already healed. You will be perfectly fine, you just need to rest a little longer. But I’m afraid your uterus didn’t heal properly. I’m afraid you can’t conceive. We will continue giving you a few meds, but for now, it can’t happen. I’m sorry,” he said.

Eric came your way and held you close. Not that you were very upset, because you never considered yourself motherly material, but the unknown possibility of the situation made you sad.

Eric was being extra careful with you. Arriving at Dauntless, he asked you if you wanted him to carry you and you just looked back at him and he already knew the answer, so he just placed his arm around your back and held you all the way home.

In your apartment, Eric made you comfortable on the couch and went to the kitchen to make you some tea.

You were thinking to yourself that you have never seen Eric acting like that; so attentive to you, careful, and protective. He never ever acted like that, but he said he loved you. You know that you love him unconditionally, and never in your life had you found yourself capable of such a feeling toward someone. But Eric changed you, so maybe you changed him as well? He really loved you and realizing that made you feel warm, loved, and incredibly relaxed. Erudite drugs were strong.

When Eric entered back in the living room you were fast asleep.

You woke up in the middle of the night already on the bed, the memories of your brother terrorizing you. Besides being emotionally broken again, you were trying hard to seem fine as you didn’t want Eric to notice how sad you were.

Eric was doing everything he could to make you feel good. During the first day back home he stayed with you making you comfortable. All you wanted to do was cuddle him, but Eric being Eric, wasn’t the cuddle type. Regardless, he let you cuddle him in the afternoon when he joined you on the couch, and he remained working on his tablet while you snuggled into him while watching a movie.

He tried to ask you how were you but all you were able to answer was:

“I’m fine, Eric. No need to worry.”

For the next few months, you were retraining yourself, not talking much, and distancing yourself from Eric. Even Tyler was having a hard time breaking through your barriers.

Eric understood that you were mentally traumatized, but after a while of trying to reach you he started to get fed up with you.

During the day, you were working in your office, having lunch with Eric and Tyler at midday. After work, you were going to the training room to release all your anger, and then you used to go home and wait for Eric. But he was always coming home late and you were already asleep when he got home.

Deep down you were glad that you didn’t have to deal with anyone, you just couldn’t stand being around people anymore.

Everything seemed to remind you of Dan and how he made you feel; weak, sad, and a failure.

You were talking even less and the guy that loved you was leaving you behind.

He tried to reach you but in vain.

One day he was working later as per usual, when there was a knock on his office door.

“C’mon in,” Eric said.

“Hey, babe. I missed you. I’m just stopping by to see if you want some company,” Becca purred, coming inside his office.

“Go away, Becca,” he stated.

She approached him, twisting his chair so he was facing her. She sat on his lap, nibbling his ear and whispered,“I know no one is taking good care of you. I’m here to do that.” 

Eric was feeling aroused by her presence as he desperately needed someone to take good “care” of him. He considered surrendering to her and just going with the flow, but the image of you hurt and broke came to his mind. He knew you needed him to support you and that he just needed to find the right way to help you so you could come back to him.

He placed his hands on Becca’s waist and squeezed hard, taking her off his lap.

“Back off. I told you to go away,” Eric said getting up, leaving his office, and leaving Becca behind.

He decided to go straight home to try and catch you awake.

You were laying on the couch, watching some bad movie about gargoyles and demons and a sewn up guy, when the door opened. You thought it was weird because you didn’t see Eric at night for over a month. He came your way and kneeled in front of you, placing his hands on your cheeks.

“I know you need some time and I’m trying to help you the best way I can. I know you’re in there somewhere, you, the girl I fell in love with, the girl I love, so I’ll wait for you. But please, don’t take too long to come back to me. I’m tired, babe,” he said, kissing you deeply.

You kissed him back and cried, holding him. He took you in his arms and placed you in bed, holding you until you fell asleep in his arms. He then went to the shower to fix himself up as Becca touched him in places that you didn’t for a while.

The next day Max called a meeting because there was some disturbance at the fence. Amity also reported being robbed by factionless and someone needed to go there to check.

All the leaders were sitting around the meeting table, Eric by your side, and Tyler on the other side asking you how you were. You just nodded and said “fine”.

The older man asked for everyone’s attention.

“You all know that factionless activity has been kind of low for the last few months. Since their leader died they got divided and a few of them asked for our help to find a place to live. We relocated them to a building close to Abnegation so they can have food, and some Amity are giving them work so they can find a place in our society. But the other half is causing more problems by stealing food from Amity trucks. We need two teams to go there and fix this,” he said.

“I’m going with one team and Tyler with the other,” Eric said.

“I want to go,” you interjected.

“No way in hell, you’re staying here,” he replied sharply.

“I want to help, Eric. I know I can. Max, please, let me go,” you pleaded.

“Sorry, Trish, Eric is calling the shots.” Max shook his head.

“Look, you can lead the teams from the control room with Four, but you’re not going out there, not after what happened the last time. You’ll stay here and that’s an order,” he stated.

You got up extremely irritated and went to the control room, not bothering to wait for Four. Arriving there, you started driving everyone insane. Zeke, a guy who went through initiation with Eric and Four, was already there.

“Hey, Zeke, show me where we can arrange a surveillance for the teams going to the fence, I want to see everything,” you ordered.

“Hello to you too, Trish. We can set it here if it pleases you,” he mocked you.

“I’m sorry, Zeke. I’m just pissed they didn’t let me go. I’m finding it hard staying here and just watching, I want to be there,” you said apologetically.

“Trish, come here, sit here. Let me tell you something, those weeks you stayed under factionless power, Eric almost died. He lost it. He lost his temper, his concentration, he was a walking piece of crap. He used to come here every day to check on surveillance and he was cruel, well, he was Eric, but he was worse than always. One day he was this close to hitting Four for information,” he said pausing to arrange the computer screen in front of you.

“I didn’t know that. He never told me that,” you said sadly.

“Did you expect him to? You know him, he won’t tell you about his feelings. He will do anything in his power to keep you safe. He won’t stand it if something happens to you again,” he said sitting down next to you.

He then showed you how the controls worked and you were able to see and hear everything that was going on. You focused the cameras on the garage where the teams were getting ready to leave, when your phone rang. On the left monitor, you saw Eric holding his phone to the camera and looking right into it.

“Hey…” you whispered.

“We are leaving now, promise me you will stay there. I’ll come back to you as soon as possible,” Eric was still peering up at the camera, his words sincere..

“Be careful, babe. I love you,” you said.

“Oh, you do? I think I want to see if that’s true when I come back. Don’t be mean to the guys in the control room. I love you,” he said, hanging up.

You kept staring at the monitor and Eric winked at you before getting inside the truck.

Four came into the room and sat on your other side to do his job, and to also try and calm you down.

For the next hour, he talked to you while Zeke made jokes about everything. 

“See, here on this little mic we can talk to them, but only if it’s really necessary. We can’t compromise the mission by talking shenanigans in their ears. That’s how you listened to me when you were on a mission, giving you the enemy positions and where to go in case you needed to escape,” he showed you the mic.

They arrived at the fence and joined the team on guard. There were four trucks, two for Eric’s team and two for Tyler’s. You could see Mel on Tyler’s team, but what you saw next didn’t please you much - Becca was on Eric’s team. She was behaving like before, in the beginning of your initiation, throwing herself at him, not caring if they were on a mission or if she could get herself killed. If not by factionless, then definitely by you when they come back.

You were listening to everything.

They gathered the groups and went towards Amity when the first shot was fired. You saw them running all over the place and Eric easily taking care of a bunch of them, shooting or even using his fists. But suddenly he stopped to look at someone that was saying something to him. There weren’t many cameras in that area but one of them was located in a place where you could see Eric’s back and the guy who was talking to him. But you could hear everything just perfectly. The transmitters were located with the cameras, however they had zoned accuracy to capture sounds better.

“You killed our leader, our friend, all because of her. I should have killed her when I got the chance,” he said coming Eric’s way.

You recognized his voice, he was one of the guys that held you hostage along with Dan.

Eric was fuming and he ran towards the guy.

Bang, bang. You heard two shots echo, watching as Eric hit the ground. You grabbed the mic.

“TYLER, DO SOMETHING!” you yelled and saw Tyler shooting the guy while Becca kneeled at Eric’s side calling for help.

After killing the factionless guy, Tyler went to help Eric and to check how he was. 

“He was shot in the right shoulder and arm. He will be fine. We are taking him back as soon as help arrives,” Tyler informed.


	9. Worth 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mature Content

In the control room, Four had already sent help and called Amity for medical assistance.

You were in shock and didn’t know what to do, but you knew you need to see Eric.

You stand up hurriedly, hearing Four calls out to you, “Trish, you have to stay here! They are bringing him back as soon as Amity’s doctor see him and release him to travel back. I can’t allow you to go there or he will kill me.”

You saw them arresting a bunch of factionless, and Eric still lying on the ground while the doctor proceeded to check on him. Then you saw Tyler and Jason putting him on the truck and the worst part, Becca joining him on the truck while he was still unconscious.

You call the infirmary quickly and order the doctor to wait for Eric’s arrival in the garage.

When the truck arrived you were waiting for them with the medical staff with you. They placed him on the gurney to take him to the infirmary, and when Becca tried to go with them you stepped in her way.

“You’re done here, Becca. You can go report back to Tyler. I’ll take it from here,” you stated.

“You can’t stop me from going with him. You don’t care about him. I’m here for him and I will come-” she didn’t have time to finish talking, again. You punched her hard in the face while Tyler came running your way.

“You stay away from Eric! If I see you even close to him, I’ll find you and you will surely need a tooth replacement,” you said stepping away. “Tyler, control this stupid officer of yours or she will end up in the bottom of the chasm,” you called over your shoulder, heading for the infirmary.

Jealousy and possession were not exclusive to Eric, it seems.

Getting there, you gathered three soldiers to do rounds out front of the infirmary.

“No one is allowed to enter except for me, Max, Tyler, and Four. If anyone tries to go in, anyone, you call me or just arrest the person. That’s an order soldier, am I clear?” you ordered.

“Yes ma’am,” the soldiers answered.

You entered the infirmary and Eric was in surgery. You sat down in the waiting room and Tyler joined you shortly after.

“You did a pretty nasty job on her face, Trish. Was that really necessary?” he said putting his arm around your shoulders. You rested your head on his shoulder and sighed.

“She needed to know her place, she was hitting on my guy. She had the audacity to say she was coming with him here. He’s not hers and he’s not available,” you said.

“The guard didn’t allow her to come here to get herself checked, I had to ask a nurse to go to her apartment,” Tyler told you.

“Good, she’s not allowed anywhere near Eric.”

“I’m so glad you’re back, I was missing my friend,” he said looking at you, and at the moment you looked at him, he kissed you.

You jumped in surprise by his action.

“Ty, what are you doing?” you asked.

“Oh, c’mon Trish, you know how I feel about you, you know how much you mean to me. I can’t stay away or hide my feelings anymore. I love you, Trish,” he confided with pleading eyes.

“No, Ty, don’t do this, you’re my friend. I trust you with my life. You know how much I love Eric. I know I was kind of lost inside my own mind and I’m sorry for that, but I do love Eric and I want to be with him. I’m sorry,” you said standing and going towards the OR entrance.

At that moment the doctor came your way and told you both that the surgery to remove the bullets went well and Eric was already recovering.

You looked at the guards out front. “No one is allowed to enter his room without asking me first. Am I clear?” you said and they nodded yes.

You went straight to Eric’s room and opened the door. Eric was asleep on the bed and tears ran down your face at the idea of losing him. He seemed relaxed, peaceful, and so beautiful you couldn’t contain yourself from touching his face; your fingers running along his jawline, cheekbones, forehead, placing kisses all over his face and ending on his mouth. You then took your jacket off, got rid of your boots and laid on the bed making sure you were not laying on the side he was shot. You scooted under his arm and snuggled on his chest. You fell asleep in seconds.

When Eric woke up, you were snuggled close to him, soundly asleep.

He sighed and smiled to himself, ignoring the pain in his shoulder. If this was the price to having you back snuggling against him, he would willingly take another bullet.

He held you a little closer and winced in pain, waking you up.

“Hey!” you said.

“Hey!” he said, kissing your temple.

“Eric, I’m so sorry. How are you feeling?” you asked when you saw his pained expression. You tried to move to get out of the bed but his grip on you was too strong.

“Don’t move, let me enjoy you being so close to me,” he whispered holding you tight.

You rested your head on his chest and a few tears left your eyes.

“I’m sorry I was so awful to you in the last couple of months. I’m so sorry, babe. I almost lost you and I can’t forgive myself if something happened to you. You’re all I have, all that matters to me. Please forgive me,” you cried.

He then ignored all the pain he was feeling and pulled you even closer, kissing you deeply.

“Finally you’re back, you have no idea how you made me feel without you. I never thought I could feel something like that. Please don’t shut yourself away from me anymore,” he said, holding you closer.

“Can we go home so I can undress you?” you whispered in his ear.

He looked at you with lust and desire in his eyes while your hand ran freely under his medical gown caressing his chest.

“I’m already undressed, but I like the way you think,” he said, smirking at you.

Then the doctor came in to check on Eric.

“You can’t be on the patient’s bed, ma’am,” the doctor said, coming your way.

“Tell us he can go home and I won’t, but as long as he has to stay here I’m staying with him,” you spat back.

“Not just yet. You took two bullets and the surgery was successful but we need you to stay here at least another day,” the doctor said to Eric.

“I’m not staying here, doc, you know me better than that,” Eric said and you smirked at the doctor.

“Your vitals are good and we already gave you a dose of the healing serum. If you promise to lay low for the next few days I don’t need to keep you here.”

You knew it was going to be hard for Eric to lay low as the doctor recommended. He was already screaming at one of the nurses that were trying to get his IV out. The poor girl ran away scared.

You helped Eric get dressed and ready to go home. Tyler came into the room, clearly embarrassed, but Eric had no idea why. He helped you take Eric home and settle him down.

The doctor gave you some painkillers to give to Eric before he went to sleep that night. He also asked Eric to not partake in any extra activities for the night, and you understood what he meant. He said something about the wounds could reopen if he did too much.

Tyler helped you take Eric home, and arriving there you placed Eric on the bed and gave him the painkillers. You thanked Tyler and went to take him to the door.

“Ty, please don’t be mad at me. You know that it can’t happen, I love Eric too much. Can we keep that between us?” you said when you opened the door.

“Trish, I know you love him, but I had to try. I’m sorry, it won’t happen again,” he said holding you and kissing your cheek goodbye.

When you came back to the room Eric was fast asleep, so you just took a shower and joined him on the bed. It felt so good to cuddle him again and snuggle him, you took advantage of his drugged condition because usually, Eric didn’t like that, but mostly every day you woke up in the morning with his arm around your waist pulling you closer to him.

The next morning you were awakened with kisses running over your stomach and trailing up. Eric’s tongue ran freely on your boobs and you were instantly awake from the sensation. He then looked at you, hungry like a wolf. He undressed you at light speed as he was already undressed.

“Don’t think I didn’t notice you giving me the sleeping pill last night. You won’t escape me now,” he said, kissing you.

“It was the doctor’s orders but I’m glad you’re feeling better now,” you whispered.

His hands were roaming across your butt while he positioned himself between your legs. You were feeling the heat coming up your body while Eric didn’t waste any time and started to play and suck your nipples. You felt his erection scraping your entrance and you were already on clouds. He came back up to kiss you like his life depended on it and at the same time, he thrust into you with such force that you gasped. It didn’t take long for you to reach your climax with Eric following you close behind. That was a wonderful way to start the day, and it went on and on for the whole morning.

During the afternoon you had to go to work and Eric was supposed to be on bed rest. You knew that was not going to happen when you left the apartment with Eric still asleep.

You were finishing a report about Candor securities, the one you started on your first week as a leader in training with Tyler and couldn’t find a way to fix it yet when you heard Eric’s voice outside your office.

Without knocking, he entered your office.

“Why did you leave without me?” he asked.

“You’re supposed to be on a bed rest, Eric. You’re not supposed to work today, you know that,” you answered, not taking your eyes from the report.

“Have you ever seen me in bed resting? I thought you knew me better than that,” he stated.

“Okay, Eric, what do you really want, why are you here?” you said, finally looking at him.

“If I’m supposed to be on bed rest, the least you could do is be with me.” That caught you by surprise, you have never seen a needy Eric before.

“Okay. You took your painkillers?” you said, getting up from your desk. “C’mon, I’m taking you home.” You grabbed his hand to lead him home. A sick Eric was not pleasant, he was needy and namby-pamby and it was bothering you a lot.

Thankfully, the next day he was back to normal with his rudeness and cruelty.

You were back on track with your life, and your life with Eric. Always agreeing to disagree, it was safe to say you used to fight a lot, but mainly because both of you had similar personalities. It was nothing too big, just little fights that you were used to and amused by.

A week later, Jack Kang called you again and you went back to Candor to try to fix their leak of information and breach of security. After a meeting with Jack and his staff, you noticed one of his security detail guards asking specific questions about the city security system and you got suspicious. You and Jack had a lone meeting in one of the conference rooms, and with your computer, you were able to access the guard’s file, noticing that he didn’t exist until a month before he joined Jack Kang’s personal team.

Factionless.

You reported back to Max right away, and the group of soldiers that was making your personal security ended up arresting the guy and taking him back to Dauntless. You were happy to finally solve the problem that was happening since before you became a leader.

You told the guards to take the guy back to base and you took the train back home. The ride was quiet and you sat on the wagon pleased with your accomplishment.

You jumped on the roof and decided to enter Dauntless old fashion way, through the hole. You jumped feeling the wind on your face and suddenly remembering the first time you jumped there, scared and feeling lonely even with Mel right behind you. The loser with no friends, the girl that didn’t trust anyone, the ugly duck no one ever paid attention to.

The person who landed on the net now was a leader, a confident girl with love in her life, and friends. A happy girl.

Landing on the net, you sighed, wiping the tears that ran on your cheeks with the back of your hand. You jumped off the net and went towards The Pit, and as it was past 6 pm, the place was crowded and it took you some time to finally find Tyler. You needed to tell him that you finally solved the problem that he knew you were struggling with. He was the one who taught you how to deal with it, and the moment you saw him you jumped into his arms, hugging him close.

“Tris, what happened? Are you okay?” he asked you, hugging you back.

“I solved it, the problem at Candor, I figured it out,” you said.

He was so happy for you. He knew how frustrating it had been; to be called back almost every week and not find out what was going on.

“What’s going on here?” Eric’s voice brought you back to reality.

You let go of Tyler and went to hug him but he stood still avoiding your touch, looking at you with inquisitive eyes.

“I was telling Tyler that I finally found the mole at Candor, the first leader issue he took me to when I was in training. Do you remember, babe?” you said trying to reach for his hand.

He allowed you to take his hand but his expression remained blank. “Why did the security team come back without you? Where were you?” he asked.

“I took the train.”

“By yourself? Are you serious? Don’t you know how dangerous it is to take the train by yourself after 4 pm?” Eric was mad and worried.

“I can take care of myself, Eric,” you said, letting go of his hand. You waved goodbye to Tyler and headed home, leaving the two of them there. You were mad that he didn’t trust you to ride the train by yourself.

“You know she can take care of herself, man, no need to be that harsh on her,” Tyler stated.

“You, better than anyone, know how much trouble she’s been through. She was in an explosion, she was kidnaped by her twisted brother… The chick is an accident magnet,” Eric played with his friend.

“I know you worry about her, but she’s strong, man, and fierce. You don’t have to worry about her. C’mon, let’s have a drink. I think if you go home now you will have your ass kicked, you pissed her off badly,” Tyler laughed and both men went to the bar.

They stayed there drinking and laughing for a while and Tyler drank a little more than he should.

“Look, man, you’re my best friend. You and Trish mean the world to me,” he started to talk tipsily.

“I know how you feel about her, man, you told me before we were even together. But she’s my girl. We can always be friends but you shouldn’t keep your hopes up,” Eric said to his friend.

“I’m sorry, man, I really am,” Tyler pleaded.

“You don’t need to be sorry. You can’t boss your feelings, right? Just don’t try anything stupid,” Eric stated.

“I’m sorry because I kissed her. I’m really sorry. But she pushed me away. She loves you,” Tyler babbled.

“What? You did what? …You kissed her? You kissed my girl?” Eric stood up and punched his friend.

Tyler placed his hands up in surrender not saying anything, but Eric grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and threw him on a table punching him again. That’s when Four showed up, restraining Eric from punching his friend one more time.

“Stay away from her, Tyler or I won’t be so understanding next time!” Eric shouted, leaving the bar.

He then strode home and your fate was traced.


	10. Worth 10

When he threw the door open you were sitting on the couch reading a book, still mad at him.

“Do you have something you want to tell me?” Eric asked you.

“What do you mean?” you replied.

“Last chance, Trish, do you have something to confess to me? Tell. Me. NOW,” he stated angrily.

You knew exactly what he wanted to hear, you knew he knew.

“Er, ahmm, Tyler kissed me,” you said, feeling embarrassed.

“Why did you lie to me?” Eric asked you.

“I never lied to you, I just didn’t want to upset you. It didn’t mean anything and he knows that, he knows I love you,” you said, with tears brimming in your eyes.

“So you thought it was better to hide it from me? He came to me for forgiveness because he felt guilty, but you didn’t, you decided it was better not to tell me. To hide it from me. You’re such a hypocrite,” you fell in love with the harsh cruel Eric and that was the man you love, but he was going too far.

“But I didn’t do anything, he was the one who kissed me, I didn’t even kiss him back, I pushed him away and now you’re accusing me? That’s not fair, Eric,” you were crying compulsively, he was hurting you on levels he could never understand.

“You should have told me, Trish, you should have told me,” he said storming out the door and leaving you in a thousand pieces.

He slammed the door shut making the whole wall shake again.

You stayed there crying a little more and feeling sorry for yourself. Eric went back to the bar and Tyler was still there drowning his sorrows. Eric sat with him and pursued his task of drinking to oblivion. 

“Look man, I’m really sorry,” Tyler tried one more time. Eric didn’t even look at him.

Both sat there without saying a word to each other but they didn’t need it.

You were tired of being in the apartment crying, so you decided to go look for Eric to try to fix things up. 

You didn’t even bother to get dressed properly, you left the apartment with leggings and a t-shirt and your sneakers. You went down the hallways looking for him, you searched the training room and nothing, the mess hall, nothing and then you decided to try the bar. 

When you entered the bar you saw Tyler visibly drunk looking at you with wide eyes and then you understood why he seemed so scared. Right beside him was Eric sitting on a bar stool with Becca between his legs.

Your mouth dropped opened and the pain in your heart was unbearable. Tyler scooted closer to his friend and just elbowed him on the arm still looking at you. When Eric held his head up and saw you, he shoved Becca away and stood up. You just shook your head no and turned around to leave. 

You were devastated. You were outside the bar at The Pit, trying to think of what to do when Becca approached you. You knew you shouldn’t even listen to her, but you did.

“Hey Trish, you don’t need to worry about Eric tonight, he just told me he will be spending the night with me at my place,” she said to you.

“If this is the kind of person, the kind of woman you want to be, Becca, that’s your problem,” you said walking away from her.

You were roaming around hallways with no certain destination.

Your phone rang and you saw it was Tyler, you ignored it and kept walking. It rang again, it was Eric, you ignored it and continued to nowhere in particular. When you reached the rusty stairs to the roof you just went with it and before you realized it, you were there. 

You sat down with your back to the wall and cried, you didn’t know from how long you stayed there crying but you noticed when it started to rain and it was raining hard. 

You didn’t move, you just stayed there for a while and then your phone started to ring again, Tyler, so you decided to see what he wanted.

“Yeah,” you said bluntly.

“Trish, where are you?” he asked.

“It doesn’t matter, what do you want?” you were not in the mood for small talk.

“Tell me where you are, are you ok?” he asked.

“Tyler, cut the crap, what do you want? Are you still at the bar?” you asked. You were still sobbing but you were trying to cover it.

“Nah, we’re at my place, your big boyfriend is passed out on the couch. Can you please just come here?” he was clearly intoxicated.

“Bullshit, he’s with Becca, she told me he was going to her place, so just leave me alone, you’ve done enough already, Ty. Bye,” you hung up the phone and continued your pity journey.

The thoughts kept coming to your mind, was Dauntless the right place for you? Were you really worthy of all the things you accomplished? At least when you were alone you were not hurt, now you were hurting a lot, so maybe you didn’t deserve all that. Maybe you just should ask Max to transfer you to the fence, then you would be all by yourself again. Your brain was working fast and you didn’t hear the door to the roof opening. Suddenly someone appeared in front of you.

“What are you doing here by yourself? You’re soaked. C’mon, I’ll take you home,” Four said approaching you.

You cried even harder than before, he grabbed your hand and pulled you to his chest.

“Trish, what’s going on? What happened to you? You’re shaking,” he said rubbing his hand on your back.

“Right at this moment Eric is cheating on me. We had a fight and I saw him at the bar with Becca, she told me he’s spending the night with her,” you cried on his chest.

“And you believed her? Trish, you know she would do everything she could to separate you and Eric, you shouldn’t believe everything she says. Now c’mon, you’re staying with me tonight, at least until you feel better,” he said taking you towards the door.

“Ok, but please don’t tell anyone that I’m staying with you. I don’t want the bastard to know where I am,” you pleaded.

“Ok, in the morning I erase the footage of the cameras on our way tonight. Better?” he asked.

“Thanks, Four,” you said.

Four took you to his flat and made you take a hot shower. You were shivering from being in the cold rain for almost three hours. He gave you a large t-shirt of his and put you in his bed to try to sleep, he put your clothes on his washing machine and then sat with you to talk. You mostly cried and he could see how hurt you were.

He stayed with you until you fell asleep.

In the morning you called Max and told him you needed a couple of days because you were sick and he didn’t question you.

Your phone kept ringing the whole day until you decided to turn it off. Four was right to erase the footage, he was working in the control room when a very angry Eric came in:

“I need to see the footage from yesterday at 9pm until today, all the way from the Pit to hallways and housing,” he stated.

“What are we looking for, Eric?” Four asked.

“Trish, anything that shows us where she is,” he said.

For the next two hours he went through the surveillance around the Pit and hallways looking for you. As Four had erased the footage of you going to the roof and back to his place, he couldn’t find anything.

Four finished his shift and went back to check on you. You woke up with him lightly shaking you.

“Trish, are you ok, you’re burning up, let me take you to the infirmary,” Four said.

“No, I’ll be fine, I’m just cold,” you said back.

“You have a fever, probably because of the rain last night, I have to call a doctor,” he insisted.

“Four, please, no, if I’m not better by tomorrow you can do whatever you want, but not today, let me stay quiet today,” you pleaded.

He let you sleep for the whole night.

In the morning he got even more frightened, he came to wake you but you didn’t wake up. He called the infirmary and the moment the medical staff arrived, he went down to the leader’s office.

At 6am, already at his office without a single hour of sleep, Eric was visibly worried, trying to think of his next move when he received a call. There was a body at the chasm, he called Max and Tyler, and the three leaders went straight to the chasm to retrieve the body that was already being pulled up by Dauntless soldiers.

He had a bad feeling in his gut and he was almost losing it thinking it could be you. You had vanished for 36 hours and no one knew where you were, he was almost desperate.

When the three soldiers placed the body by their feet, he couldn’t believe his eyes, neither could Tyler.

There she was, Becca, dead, covered in bruises that might be from the fall or from the fight before it.

“You two, get the footage from this camera from last night until this morning. We need to find out if she jumped or if she was pushed,” Max said to the leaders beside him while the soldiers carried Becca’s body to the morgue.

Eric and Tyler were heading to the control room when the first one stopped.

“Tyler, can you do this on your own? Report to me later, I’m afraid of what I will see in this footage,” Eric said to his friend.

“I feel you, man, I’ll do it, I’m afraid too. Do you think she could have… no I don’t want to think about it. Go back to your office, I’ll report as soon as I have information,” Tyler said entering the control room.

Eric went back to his office and tried to focus on paperwork but it was not working.

Around 8am there was a knock on his door and he was waiting for Tyler to come in but instead a distressed Four came into his office.

“I’m sorry to bother you, and I know you’ll be pissed, but I need you to come with me, it’s Trish, she’s not ok. I left medical assistance with her to come get you, she’s in bad shape, man,” he said to the leader in front of him.

Eric was already up by the mention of your name. He followed Four to his housing hallway.

“She was with you? I can’t believe that, all this time she was with you. If I wasn’t worried I would punch you right now,” Eric stated.

“I found her on the roof on Sunday night. I’m not even asking you what have you done to her, but it was leaving her there or bringing her here, she didn’t give me much of an option. I convinced her that I was not telling you where she was, that was her condition. When I found her, she was under a heavy rain, so I think she might have caught something because this morning she wouldn’t wake up, so I called the infirmary,” Four was opening the door and Eric stormed in.

You were already awake and the doctor was taking care of you.

You didn’t even look at Eric, just at Four.

“I’m sorry Trish, you scared me, you’re sick, I had to go get Eric,” Four explained.

“When was the last time she ate? She’s severely dehydrated and weak, it made the cold she got worse than it supposed to be. I already gave her some healing serum and she will be fine, but she needs to eat and drink a lot of water,” the doctor said standing up and leaving.

Four went to the door with him leaving you and Eric by yourselves.

“What are you doing to yourself? You can't…” Eric didn’t have the chance to finish.

“Get out of here, I don’t want to talk to you, go back to Becca, she might be waiting for you at her place as she told me you were spending the night with her,” you spat at him.

“What the hell are you talking about? I never spent the night with her, I was at Tyler’s. She tried but I would never go with her. I have you, you’re my girl not her. Is that what this is all about?” Eric asked.

You were crying, you didn’t know if you believed him or not. You saw Four approaching you.

“Trish, I told you not to believe what that girl said to you. As much as I don’t like Eric I must confess that I’m with him on this one. She’s not trustworthy,” Four said grabbing your clean clothes so you could get dressed.

“Was,” Eric said.

“What?” you asked.

“Becca, she was found in the bottom of the chasm this morning,” the leader said.

You and Four were stunned.

“Did she jump? Or someone pushed her?” you asked.

“We don’t know yet, Tyler is in the control room looking at surveillance to see if she was by herself or not,” he said.

“As much as I disliked her I didn’t want to see her dead,” you said, lowering your eyes.

“C’mon, I’m taking you home. You scared me, I thought I lost you, again,” he said putting his hand out to help you get up. 

He then held you close and kissed your temple.

Leaving Four’s place, he did the hardest thing he ever done, he thanked him, for taking care of you.

Arriving at home he took your clothes off giving you one of his large t-shirts and placed you on the bed, he covered you and kissed you deeply.

“Don’t you ever run away from me again,” he said.

“Don’t make me and I won’t,” you answered back.

“I have to go to work, babe, please stay in bed, you need to recover. I’ll be back with lunch,” he said kissing you again and leaving the room.

You fell asleep immediately.

Eric went straight to Tyler’s office.

Entering the room, he questioned, “What did you find out on footage?”

“Apparently, she jumped, but the footage shows her arriving at the chasm by herself and then it’s conveniently erased. The part when she jumps or is pushed is deleted, we don’t know for sure. The footage comes back on two hours later,” Tyler said.

“That’s fucked up man, how are we supposed to know if she did it?” Eric asked.

“Four is working on that to see if he can restore the erased part, but he said he’s afraid of what he might see,” Tyler said.


	11. Worth 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mature content, violent content

At lunch, Eric stopped at the cafeteria to grab some food and went straight home to see you.

When he entered the apartment you were still asleep. He sat by your side on the bed and started caressing your face.

“Hey, sleepy head, how are you feeling?” he whispered kissing your cheek.

“Hmmm, hey… better I guess,” you said with a sleepy voice.

“C’mon, can you get up, I brought food and you need to eat. Doctor’s orders,” he said.

You got up and went to have lunch with Eric, he brought you chicken with vegetables and rice. So kind of him.

Unless he wanted something. But he didn’t ramble, he went right to the point. 

“Babe, I have to ask you this, but please don’t be mad. Did you leave Four’s apartment last night?” he asked.

“Seriously, Eric, seriously? You think I killed Becca? You think I pushed her? I told you as much as I dislike her, she didn’t deserve to die like that. And no, I didn’t leave Four’s place, I was too sick for that. Check the cameras if you want.” You were extremely disappointed with Eric.

“I don’t need to check on cameras, I believe you,” he said.

You stood up to put your almost full plate in the sink, you couldn’t eat anymore.

“Sit down,” Eric ordered.

“I’m not hungry anymore,” you retorted.

“You’re not running away from me anymore when you disagree with me, now SIT DOWN AND FINISH EATING,” he yelled banging his fists on the table.

He got you so surprised that you fell down on the chair.

“You’re pushing your luck here, sir,” you said standing up again and going to the sink.

The next thing you heard was the noise of all that was on the table being thrown on the floor and an enraged Eric looking at you.

“What the fuck is your problem?” you asked.

He approached you grabbing your arm painfully.

“Do you think I liked that you spent the night at Four’s, two nights actually, just out of whim? Do you think I liked to know that Tyler kissed you, or you just forgot that one too?” he said looming over you and twisting your arm so hard that tears ran down your face.

“Let me go,” you said trembling. “You’re hurting me, get off me.”

He released your arm but didn’t move a single inch.

“Don’t you ever run away from me again. Don’t go spend the night at other guy’s flats,” he said with a firm voice.

“So I’m supposed to stay with you even with you hurting me? Should I stay here waiting for you while you’re between Becca’s legs? Better, she’s between your legs as I saw you and you were very pleased with her, you were smiling at her, Eric. You don’t smile, but at her, you were all giggles. And I’m supposed to be here waiting? Not in a million years,” you said trying to find a way to get out of his grip.

He closed, even more, the gap between you two. He then placed his hand on your cheek caressing you and wiping your tears with his thumb.

“You are all I ever wanted. I knew you were there, I was provoking you. But you are the one I love. I was telling her that she would never ever have me that way anymore because every single fiber of my being is yours,” he said pressing his lips to yours.

You didn’t know what to do, you didn’t know if you could kiss him back, because he hurt you again, but your body betrayed you and you surrendered to the kiss. You were feeling the heat coming up and when his hands grabbed your butt all you could do was push him away.

“I’m still mad at you, for making me feel that way, that sad again, so no fun for you, sir,” you said finally managing to free yourself from his grip.

All you wanted to do was throw yourself at him, hold him, feel him, have him, but you had to remain strong, so you just went to your bathroom and took a shower. Eric needed to understand that he hurt you, that he made you feel vulnerable again, and he would have to make it up for it.

He stayed in the kitchen completely dumbfounded by your actions. He needed to release the way the discussion left him, he couldn’t deny he felt extremely aroused by your ability to talk back to him, so as soon as you unlocked the bathroom door he stepped in.

“Why did you lock the door?” he asked.

“So you couldn’t get in,” you said passing by him going to the bedroom.

You laid down because you’re still supposed to be on bed rest. Eric showered for almost 30 minutes and you stayed laughing to yourself about the condition you left the guy. When he finished his showered he got dressed and kissed your forehead.

“I’m going to work, I’ll be back with dinner, don’t think I forgot your adventure at Stiff’s flat, you have a lot to redeem yourself for,” he said leaving the room.

“You’re still on probation, Mr. Leader, you’re not going to get any anytime soon,” you spat back.

He left and you just heard the loud bang of the door closing.

After he left you got up and went to your old apartment, you never returned it to Dauntless and you really didn’t know why but for you it was like an escape that you could use when things got too overwhelming. A single picture was on your nightstand, Eric holding you from behind kissing right below your ear and you were smiling, you were so happy in that picture that your heart hurt a little, you were still mad at him, he was being so cruel to you latelly that you just sat on your old bed and cried. Before leaving your old apartment you grabbed the picture and shoved it under your mattress, trying to hide the hurt you were feeling, and left.

Back at Eric’s, you slept most of the afternoon. When you woke up you were feeling much better so you went to the bathroom, brushed your teeth and went to the living room to watch a movie.

At night Eric came back with dinner for both of you. He brought you a chicken burger, your favorite. He was trying to reach you, to, in his unusual way, apologize.

“How are you feeling?” he asked you.

“Ok,” you said.

“Trish, talk to me, please, I’m sick of you mad. TALK TO ME,” he yelled at you.

“Stop yelling at me! “ you said.

“You’re so nerve-wracking, why are you hiding from me ?” he asked sounding tired.

“Eric, I was always like this, that’s the way I know how to heal, with myself,” you confided.

“You’re not alone anymore, Trish, you have me,” Eric stated.

“Apparently I’m not enough for you, you still have the hots for Becca, actually I think that it just stopped because she died,” you said angrily getting up from the dinner table.

“WOULD YOU CUT THIS CRAP? ENOUGH IS ENOUGH,” he yelled approaching you from behind.

He turned you so now you were facing him.

“I will prove to you that no one else matters,” he said kissing you with much force.

You were so tired of fighting Eric that you kissed him back. You took his vest and ripped his t-shirt apart.

Eric got so aroused by that and in one motion he took your shirt off. He grabbed your legs and held them around his waist while he carried you to bed.

He was harsh devouring every inch of you, he forcefully sucked your nipples making you moan in pain and pleasure. With his finger, he ripped your panties and removed his pants. He didn’t waste any more time and next thing you knew he thrusted hard inside you. He seemed full of rage in every thrust and you were a mix of excitement and fear. He placed his hand around your throat and squeezed a little leaving you almost without air.

“You will learn to trust me when I said you’re everything I want. You will learn not to doubt me again,” he said squeezing your neck even harder.

“Eric, please, I can’t breathe,” you pleaded.

He was being serious and you were feeling his rage. When he noticed you were about to collapse, he released your neck reaching his orgasm almost immediately. You didn’t, you got a little scared and couldn’t focus on anything else.

Eric collapsed beside you and fell asleep. You stayed there thinking about what just happened, Eric was hard and cruel but he has never been so violent with you. You were sure you would still be hurting the next morning. You loved him, with all your heart and soul but he did hurt you at levels he would never dream of.

Around 3 am you finally fell asleep.

When you woke up Eric was still asleep so you got up and went to shower. You cried as the water engulfed your body bringing you some kind of relief.

When you left the bathroom with your towel around your body, Eric was getting up and looked at you. When he realized you were crying he stood up with concern in his eyes and was coming your way.

“Don’t,” you said placing your hand in front of you. “Don’t you ever hurt me again like you did last night. Ever.” 

You turned away and started to get dressed.

“Babe, I had no idea I was hurting you,” he pleaded.

You just grabbed your clothes and left the room not even looking at him, you got dressed at light speed and just left the apartment leaving Eric behind.

You didn’t even bother going to breakfast, you just went straight to your office to work.

Eric knew better than to try to talk to you, he left you alone for the rest of the day. 

After a long day and a lot of thinking, you finished your work around 6 pm, and you went to Tyler’s office. He still was your good friend so you decided to talk to him.

He was finishing some reports and was surprised to see you.

“Hey stranger, how are you feeling? Better from the flu you got?” he asked you.

“I’m much better, thanks, how are you ?” you asked your friend.

“I’m ok. I’m actually glad you’re here, I was not sure if you would still talk to me. Trish, I’m sorry, I really am, I should have never said anything to Eric. He got so mad. I said I was sorry but he wasn’t thinking straight,” he confessed to you.

You then told him about all the fighting and the yelling since you came home after spending the night over Four’s place, you didn’t tell him details, but you told him about Eric being a little too violent towards you, more than he used to, more than you were used to.

“I think he might have something in his mind that he’s not telling us, I know the factionless are back on attacks, maybe he’s just preoccupied,” Tyler said. “But it’s not an excuse to hurt you. If he keeps doing that, you come tell me and we can think of something.”

“I love him, Ty, I’m not even considering him doing it again, and I can take care of myself, but thanks. I should go home now,” you said getting up.

You said goodbye to your friend and left. You were about to go home when you saw Eric’s office lights on and decided to pay him a visit.

You knocked on his door and waited.

“Come in,” he said.

You opened the door and when he put his head up he couldn’t believe it was you.

He knew you were mad, he was ready for not seeing you for the day, he was ready to only see you when you were already sleeping.

“Are you ready to go home?” you asked not moving a single muscle in your face. He could see you were still mad. The truth was you weren’t mad, you were hurt by his actions.

He stood up and came your way, he placed his hands on your face and kissed you softly.

Just then he noticed the finger marks on your neck, his fingers.

“Anything for you, babe. Did you eat ? Want to have dinner?” he asked you.

You said that you didn’t have dinner so the two of you went to the cafeteria in silence.

Eric knew better than to push your buttons right now, he never thought he was that hard until he saw the marks on your neck, marks he left on you.

You had dinner and went home, you stayed quiet the whole time, you showered and went to bed not saying a word. Eric stayed working on his tablet in the living room and when he entered the room you were already asleep.

Most of the week was the same, you just taking a break from Eric but not shutting him down completely. You had to figure out what to do, you loved him madly, but you were asking yourself if you should keep your relationship like this, with all the fighting, or if you should try to live your life without Eric. That thought was devastating you.

On Friday you met Mel for lunch and you told her about your problems.

“I’m so glad you finally found a time to be with me, you’re my best friend and I miss you, I know you’ve been through a lot lately, and you’ve been sick, but I care about you and I was worried,” Mel said when you two finally sat down for lunch.

You talked for the entire lunch and you confided in your friend your doubts and concerns. She comforted you while you cried.

“I don’t know what’s going on, Mel, I’m sorry, I was never this emotional, I think Eric is messing with my feelings on a whole new level,” you said wiping the tears from your face.

“Hon, are you sure you’re ok? You seem a little too emotional, maybe you should see the doctor. Maybe the healing serum he gave you for your flu wasn’t normal and you’re having some kind of reaction,” your friend said.

“Or maybe being almost choked by Eric brought back some feelings that were hidden for a while…” you whispered to your friend, who looked at you with concern.

“What do you think if we go to the store and see some clothes? I heard they received new lingerie today!” Mel invited you.

“That’s a good idea, I need new lingerie, I will tease Eric so he’ll regret his actions,” you said with an evil grin on your face.

“Oh girl, you’re sassy!” Mel said.

The two of you went to the store and you found a new sort of sleeping lingerie, shorts that were very attached to your body with a very tight tank top. Your butt would almost be on full display, perfect to provoke Eric. You love him and you couldn’t wait to have him back with you, but he would suffer first. You were still thinking about what to do, but a nice teasing game wouldn’t hurt. You had to go back to work and so did Mel.

“Ok, but promise me you’ll see the doctor, just in case, hon,” she said before going back to work.

You kissed your friend goodbye agreeing with her plea and went to work yourself.

When you finished your paperwork you went to the infirmary to talk to the doctor. You explained your symptoms and asked him if it could be the healing serum. He told you it was possible but he wanted to run a few tests first. He then took some blood and asked you to come back the next day for the results. 

All the way home you were thinking about your plan to start teasing Eric that night.

When you got home Eric wasn’t there yet but during your shower, you heard the door closing, so you knew he was there. After showering you put on your new sleeping lingerie and were very pleased with the result. You opened your room door and Eric was on the couch working on his tablet, shirtless, with some sweatpants and his bare feet on the coffee table. He was playing the same game. He knew his bare chest and arms were your weakness. You put your head up and added an extra swing to your hips when crossing the living room to the kitchen.

When you reached the fridge he was already right behind you pressing your body to the cold surface.

“What are you wearing?” he whispered in your ear and you felt his forming erection on your butt, his hands caressing your sides.

“Just something comfortable to sleep,” you answered.

“Is this new? I never saw you wearing it,” he whispered.

“Yeah, but if you intend to choke me again you better just back off,” you said getting away from his grip and going to the bedroom.

He followed and the moment you stopped he bumped into you, his hands roaming your stomach.

“How many times do I have to say I’m sorry? You got under my skin, you should not defy me,” he said with his lips touching the shell of your ear.

“Just one would be nice, but you didn’t apologize until now. And I will defy you every time I disagree with you. I’m your girlfriend not one of your soldiers,” you spat back taking his hands from you. “Now if you’ll excuse me I’m going to sleep. It’s up to you to prove to me you’re not going to treat me that way anymore. If you really want to be with me. I’m not sure about that anymore.”

You laid down and shut the lights off. Eric was not sure of what to do and that was a first.

He went back to the living room, turned the lights off and joined you in bed. He placed his arms around you and held you close afraid he was going to lose you.

“You’re the only person I care about besides myself, I love you. Before you came into my life I didn’t know what love was, now I do, it’s you. I can’t imagine my life without you. It kills me to see other guys around you. When Tyler told me he kissed you, I felt some kind of pain that I never felt before, and then you spent the night over at Four’s, and there it was, that pain again. You’re mine Trish, and mine only. There’s no way of living without you,” he confided holding you even closer, your back to his chest. The tears were running freely down your face and you sighed.

“I love you too, more than you can imagine,” you said squeezing his arms around you.

He roamed his hand on your body and you were feeling him hardening behind you. He placed his right hand inside your shorts putting it down your legs while kissing your neck. He then started to play with your folds teasing you with his fingers. You were out of your mind, moaning while pressing your head on Eric’s shoulder, he then got rid of his boxers and penetrated you from behind. He was gentle at first but in no time he was thrusting hard into you. You were so aroused by having Eric back that you surrendered completely to him. His right hand still played with your clit while he thrust into you from behind. In seconds you reached your climax and Eric followed you. He planted kisses all over you, turning you around so now he was facing you.

You snuggled into his chest and held him tight.

His warmth around you was so comforting you were falling asleep.

“I killed her, I killed Becca because of you,” Eric whispered.

When you didn’t answer he thought you were already asleep and you almost were. But you couldn’t talk. When you woke up in the morning Eric was not in bed. You found a note on your nightstand saying he had an early meeting but you didn’t need to attend, it was some issue with Max and Jeanine Matthews.

You couldn’t stop thinking of Eric saying he killed Becca, was it a dream? you thought to yourself.

In the morning Jeanine Matthews, the Erudite leader, called Eric and Max to a meeting. She was worried divergents were getting together with the factionless to try to take over the city.

Comfortably seated in her pristine white chair, she was hiding the worry of an uprising battle. Her room was all white with glass instead of walls, everything was very white and open making the Dauntless leaders a little uncomfortable.

“Gentlemen, I’m glad you could join us for this meeting, we are facing a few problems with factionless as you both already experienced and we suspect they are hiding divergents with their people. I had decided to stop the divergent hunt since our events last year, but I think it’s time to start over,” Jeanine finished, waiting for the attendees’ reply.

“Jeanine, I don’t think that starting the divergent hunt over is a good idea,” Max stated and Eric agreed.

They talked for over an hour about the issue and both men left Erudite agreeing to keep an eye on divergents.

You got ready for work and stopped at the infirmary first to see if the doctor had any news on your tests.

“Trish, just the person I wanted to see, please come in,” the doctor said opening his office door. “How are you feeling today?”

“I’m a little tired, I think I might be working a little too hard. And usually, I work out after I finish my job so I think it might be it,” you said rambling a little.

“Have a seat, I got your tests results. So, tell me, how long have you been feeling like this, it was just when you got the flu or you were feeling like that before?” he asked you.

“Now that you mention it I think it was a little before the flu, I’ve been feeling like this for a while, I just thought it was normal. So, it wasn’t a reaction to the healing serum? Am I sick?” you asked.

“No, you’re not sick. You’re just facing some fatigue and your body is having a hard time reacting but I’m prescribing you some vitamins and you’ll be fine in no time,” he said to you.

Leaving the infirmary you went straight to Eric’s office, he was back from Erudite and looked concerned.

Without any introduction, you just asked.

“Did you kill Becca or did I dream of it?” 

“I thought you didn’t hear that. I had to, she threatened to hurt you if I didn’t sleep with her. I can’t risk anyone hurting you,” he said.

“You know I can take care of myself, you didn’t need to kill her,” you said. 

“She could get you by surprise, babe, I couldn’t risk it. Is that what was bothering you?” he asked.

“No, I’m just having a bad feeling, I went to the doctor and he said I’m just tired and he prescribed a few meds, but I’ll be fine. I have to go to work. Love you,” you said bending over to kiss him.

Later that day Mel texted you to have dinner with her and you agreed as Eric was working late.

“How were your exams? Are you pregnant?” Mel excitedly asked.

“What? No? Where did that come from?” you were surprised by your friend’s suspicion.

“Oh, c'mon Trish, your symptoms scream pregnancy,” she laughed.

“But they are wrong, I’m just overly fatigued, the doctor already gave me a few vitamins,” you said.

“I was so ready to be an aunt,” Mel said playfully.

“Maybe you can start your own reproduction,” you played back.

The two of you laughed and continued talking until dinner was over.

After leaving Mel at her place you went home to wait for Eric.

He came home extremely tired and the look on his face didn’t hide it. He took a shower and lay down next to you to sleep, you held him close and he held you back. You were feeling like you couldn’t hold him enough, like he was fading through your arms and he held you back the same way. That night you barely slept, you couldn’t stop staring at Eric, contemplating his serene face as he slept. You placed kisses on his cheeks and lips as you finally fell asleep around 4 am. 

At 4:30 am Eric’s phone started ringing, jolting you and Eric awake. Max was hysterically screaming on the other side that the factionless were attacking Erudite. 

You both got up and got ready the fastest you could to join the troops at the garage.

“Eric, I have a bad feeling about this,” you were afraid and had tears in your eyes. Your fierceness was being replaced by fear.

“Babe, we are going to be fine, don’t worry, you’re strong and ruthless, you can do this, I’ll be by your side, don’t worry,” he said holding you close. The fact was that you didn’t want to go.

At Erudite Jeanine was in her panic room ready to release her worst weapon.

Eric got you and Tyler with him and you were fighting the factionless. You were setting explosives around the perimeter they were in but it wasn’t going to be enough, they were destroying Erudite and killing people. Everyone was beyond scared.

In the control room at Erudite Jeanine gave the order to release the memory serum over Chicago, only the people in her personal detail were going to be spared. It was her last resource and she was not pleased about it, but she had no choice. As soon as factionless arrived at her office she pressed the button. Her panic room was the only place prepared to not get the memory serum into the air system.

Everything happened too fast, the next thing you knew, an orange cloud of smoke took over the city. You looked at Eric and Tyler and everything turned black.


End file.
